We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok - well now hear the guys' side.
These are our rules!
Numbered by importance.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down, we need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and NO, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark Birthdays and Anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing"', we will act like nothing's wrong.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
I was reading another board the other day and someone had posted this, then a bunch of guys had responded saying "I dont think this is right, i like foreien films" and "I have more than 3 pair of shoes".. Talk about missing the point.As Gross stereotypes go I thought this was funny.
What a fucking weekend.
What a fucking weekend.
I read a 600 page book.
I atteneded every moment of the conference.
I got staggeringly drunk at a bar then got picked up by a girl who got pissed when I didn't want to fuck her.
I could rant about that last point for pages but I'm just going to let it be. It takes a certain disposition of girl to pick up a guy at a bar whos only intent is to drink himself into oblivion to try and forget about something.
I want to move to Portland.
I have to clean my apartment as I am having company tommorow night.
I want to know why the hell i'm writing this.
What a fucking weekend.
These are our rules!
Numbered by importance.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down, we need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and NO, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark Birthdays and Anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing"', we will act like nothing's wrong.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
I was reading another board the other day and someone had posted this, then a bunch of guys had responded saying "I dont think this is right, i like foreien films" and "I have more than 3 pair of shoes".. Talk about missing the point.As Gross stereotypes go I thought this was funny.
What a fucking weekend.
What a fucking weekend.
I read a 600 page book.
I atteneded every moment of the conference.
I got staggeringly drunk at a bar then got picked up by a girl who got pissed when I didn't want to fuck her.
I could rant about that last point for pages but I'm just going to let it be. It takes a certain disposition of girl to pick up a guy at a bar whos only intent is to drink himself into oblivion to try and forget about something.
I want to move to Portland.
I have to clean my apartment as I am having company tommorow night.
I want to know why the hell i'm writing this.
What a fucking weekend.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dorinda:
Oh yeah...and I moved to a different house in amherst. One for the summer. I am constantly moving around these towns. Who knows which one i will live in next year.
dorinda:
Oh yeah...and I moved to a different house in amherst. One for the summer. I am constantly moving around these towns. Who knows which one i will live in next year.