actuallynotyou

My friend is here from out of town. We went to college together and she moved home after she graduated. It was a wierd situation, it was her, me and her exboyfriend who I think she slept with last night. That is just a bad idea. She was dating this boy when she left and he stopped calling her. I hate girls sometimes. Let me rephrase, I hate everybody. People always picking the most self-destructive path in any given situation. Orginally it was going to be more people than just the three of us but of course that didn't happen so I got to play 5th wheel for a large part of the evening. It wasn't horrible all night but there were definetly points where it was just awkard. I am driving her to the airport today, and I hate to say it but I was right, she spent most of this weekend hanging out with the ex and kind of forgot the friend thing. Such is life.

I am slightly hung over.

I woke up at 8:30 and I have no idea why.

The last thing that my.. GF/EX/confusion... gave me when she left was a cold, and now she's better and I'm coughing up funny colors to remind me of her..

I am going to visit her tommorow but I am not going to have enough time, what the hell does that mean? We're getting to city at prolly 4pm and we have to leave at 9am the next morning. I keep asking myself if its worth another goodbye. I love standing there in silence, holding each other not saying anything b/c we have no idea what to say. When I dropped her off the first time when I drove her down, we spent the last 30 min of the car ride not talking. Just holding hands.

FUCK GOODBYE..

It was a cruel day when I realized that love is not enough, has never been enough. Every relationship I have had since then has re-enforced that point. Everything is a slave to timing.