My house mate is a fucking dipshit. He's been driving me insane for quite some time now... unfortunately as I am a student at the moment, moving out is not really much of an option.
Anyway, he can be a nice guy and all, but it's the stupid shit that he does that is sending me insane, and the fact that he is always on his high horse of superiority about EVERYTHING... lets just call him "Fat Shit" for the sake of my example story of a little hamster man on his high horse of fat shit stupidity.
Yesterday, old Fat Shit came home. He had a bag of hot chips and a hamburger from the local fish and chip store. I couldn't care less what he eats... why would I? Anyway, he tells me I can have the chips... somehow the "stupid chip shop lady" sold him chips and he didn't order them (yes, he still paid for them - who's stupid again???). This was a kind offering, and so I said I would have a few chips. Then he pipes up with this spiel about how he doesn't eat that kind of shit blah blah blah. Ummmm... hold on Fat Shit, you're stuffing a greasy fucking hamburger into your fat mouth, and you've got the nerve to talk down at me about my eating? I told him he's a hypocrite, but of course he knows better and the hamburgers are really quite healthy. Whatever Fat Shit. Look in the mirror you greasy bald cunt.
I probably sound like I am over reacting, and it's actually pretty funny watching the pig shoveling crap into his gob night after night, an immovable blob in front of the television. But the fact that I have to clean his food off the table the next day is just ridiculous. At least he now takes his plates to the sink. One small step towards having him house trained. A simple rinse of his plates would be nice though, seeing as he rarely can be fucked to do the washing up (and more often than not he'll just do some of the dishes before wondering back to the glowing wonder that is the idiot box. I must say that he is getting better lately, and he will wash up from time to time. But fuck, so do most people).
Then there's his "Hamster Wheel". He jumps on his wheel every night for a ride (it's this lame exercise bike), and he plonks it right in front of the TV. He'll ride on it for about 20 mins, and then have to stop for a break of 15 mins, before continuing for another 20 mins or so. If people come over they always ask me why the fuck do I have a gay arse exercise bike... haha, nobody would suspect that it's old fat shit peddling up a flubber storm every night. He's got some 2 kg dumbells too... again they are not really what a guy would usually have to "work out" with. He got all this shit because his sister got the same crap a while ago, and he has to immitate everything that his sisters do. (We are hopeful that he may develop a brain of his own one day and be able to even intellectualise his own thoughts! Imagine that! You can do it Fat Shit!)
Thankfully I don't care to watch so much TV, but it still annoys the crap out of me. Also, another great moment of hypocrisy; on his "hard earned 15 minute break", he'll sit his sweaty fat fuck arse on the lounge to flick through some TV for a bit, then get back on the hamster wheel. He complained to me a while ago because when one of my friends stays over, he doesn't fold the sofa bed out, and rather just sleeps on it as is... Fat Shit doesn't want him sweating on the lounge! Steady on Fat Shit, you are the fat fuck sweat factory, not any of my mates you stupid cunt. If you actually had any friends then maybe I'd have something to throw back.
My brother just messaged me and asked what I was doing. I told him and he felt sorry for Fat Shit. Poor old Fat Shit. Everyone always feels sorry for him. Fuck man, if people just randomly start "feeling sorry" for me all the time, and saying things like "Oh, let him be. He's harmless", then please,someone - SHOOT ME.
Nobody will even read this crap, and it is utter crap, but I don't care . I am writing to get this off my chest before I go and punch old fat shit off his hamster wheel once and for all.
Oh, he works in a bank. And he's going bald at 26. Not that it matters, and I understand that this doesn't matter. But it just makes me laugh how everyone is always so sorry for him. His sisters always want to try and set him up with a girl... you know, set up retard brother with a suitably lame friend... he was babbling on to me about it last night. Fucking just get on with it Fat Shit. Get a woman, and just fuck off already.
I realise what a harsh blog this is, but I guess I am just entertaining myself with this crap. And I love writing "Fat Shit", because I am immature and it cracks me up.
Oh well, What can I say. Perhaps I'll savor some more tales of our beloved Fat Shit for another day of my whinging.
Steady on Fat Shit, you'll give yourself a heart attack on that Hamster Wheel! Steady on! (I am thinking about making this into a song! haha. What a hit it'll be!)
Christ I am a cunt!!!
Wow, I just read over that. Hilarious. I don't feel so worked up now, and I know nobody will even find this funny - but I think it's hilarious now!!! I'll post it anyway, even though I'm calm now haha...
Anyway, he can be a nice guy and all, but it's the stupid shit that he does that is sending me insane, and the fact that he is always on his high horse of superiority about EVERYTHING... lets just call him "Fat Shit" for the sake of my example story of a little hamster man on his high horse of fat shit stupidity.
Yesterday, old Fat Shit came home. He had a bag of hot chips and a hamburger from the local fish and chip store. I couldn't care less what he eats... why would I? Anyway, he tells me I can have the chips... somehow the "stupid chip shop lady" sold him chips and he didn't order them (yes, he still paid for them - who's stupid again???). This was a kind offering, and so I said I would have a few chips. Then he pipes up with this spiel about how he doesn't eat that kind of shit blah blah blah. Ummmm... hold on Fat Shit, you're stuffing a greasy fucking hamburger into your fat mouth, and you've got the nerve to talk down at me about my eating? I told him he's a hypocrite, but of course he knows better and the hamburgers are really quite healthy. Whatever Fat Shit. Look in the mirror you greasy bald cunt.
I probably sound like I am over reacting, and it's actually pretty funny watching the pig shoveling crap into his gob night after night, an immovable blob in front of the television. But the fact that I have to clean his food off the table the next day is just ridiculous. At least he now takes his plates to the sink. One small step towards having him house trained. A simple rinse of his plates would be nice though, seeing as he rarely can be fucked to do the washing up (and more often than not he'll just do some of the dishes before wondering back to the glowing wonder that is the idiot box. I must say that he is getting better lately, and he will wash up from time to time. But fuck, so do most people).
Then there's his "Hamster Wheel". He jumps on his wheel every night for a ride (it's this lame exercise bike), and he plonks it right in front of the TV. He'll ride on it for about 20 mins, and then have to stop for a break of 15 mins, before continuing for another 20 mins or so. If people come over they always ask me why the fuck do I have a gay arse exercise bike... haha, nobody would suspect that it's old fat shit peddling up a flubber storm every night. He's got some 2 kg dumbells too... again they are not really what a guy would usually have to "work out" with. He got all this shit because his sister got the same crap a while ago, and he has to immitate everything that his sisters do. (We are hopeful that he may develop a brain of his own one day and be able to even intellectualise his own thoughts! Imagine that! You can do it Fat Shit!)
Thankfully I don't care to watch so much TV, but it still annoys the crap out of me. Also, another great moment of hypocrisy; on his "hard earned 15 minute break", he'll sit his sweaty fat fuck arse on the lounge to flick through some TV for a bit, then get back on the hamster wheel. He complained to me a while ago because when one of my friends stays over, he doesn't fold the sofa bed out, and rather just sleeps on it as is... Fat Shit doesn't want him sweating on the lounge! Steady on Fat Shit, you are the fat fuck sweat factory, not any of my mates you stupid cunt. If you actually had any friends then maybe I'd have something to throw back.
My brother just messaged me and asked what I was doing. I told him and he felt sorry for Fat Shit. Poor old Fat Shit. Everyone always feels sorry for him. Fuck man, if people just randomly start "feeling sorry" for me all the time, and saying things like "Oh, let him be. He's harmless", then please,someone - SHOOT ME.
Nobody will even read this crap, and it is utter crap, but I don't care . I am writing to get this off my chest before I go and punch old fat shit off his hamster wheel once and for all.
Oh, he works in a bank. And he's going bald at 26. Not that it matters, and I understand that this doesn't matter. But it just makes me laugh how everyone is always so sorry for him. His sisters always want to try and set him up with a girl... you know, set up retard brother with a suitably lame friend... he was babbling on to me about it last night. Fucking just get on with it Fat Shit. Get a woman, and just fuck off already.
I realise what a harsh blog this is, but I guess I am just entertaining myself with this crap. And I love writing "Fat Shit", because I am immature and it cracks me up.
Oh well, What can I say. Perhaps I'll savor some more tales of our beloved Fat Shit for another day of my whinging.
Steady on Fat Shit, you'll give yourself a heart attack on that Hamster Wheel! Steady on! (I am thinking about making this into a song! haha. What a hit it'll be!)
Christ I am a cunt!!!Wow, I just read over that. Hilarious. I don't feel so worked up now, and I know nobody will even find this funny - but I think it's hilarious now!!! I'll post it anyway, even though I'm calm now haha...
Its always good to vent over the internet, makes me feel heaps better!