I promised to go into further detail about the events leading up to this week, which have proven to be just about the most eventful two weeks of my life so far. I'm hesitant to go into detail with it all, I was thinking at one point of doing this whole thing with pictures and everything. Maybe some day I will, but for now I'm just gonna write it all out to get final closure on things.
If you saw a few entries ago, I was in a car accident recently. According to the police report it was my fault, which doesn't take into account the guy that cut us both off and led to the accident in the first place, but I guess that's that. I'm still waiting for the shower of that bad fortune to fully fall on me.
Not long after I volunteered to go to one of our clients to pick up a check. What would have turned out to be a half hour trip in the mid afternoon, turned out to be an hour and a half trip during rush hour, taking my least favorite highway in the 4th worst trafficked city in the country. To add to my enjoyment, this same highway incidentally was closed in both directions a few exits before I needed to get off because of an oil tanker that had decided to roll over in the middle of the highway. I eventually got there though, and took the Turnpike back to work without incident.
That same night however, I'm driving home on the same Turnpike, when I take an exit I've taken maybe 600 times before, and on the turn I spin out of control at 80 mph and run off the road backwards, landing in the grass about 50 yards away. This one really does require a picture. All I could do while I sat there, realizing that I could have easily died had there been more cars on the road, was laugh. Still 15 minutes away from my house, I just check my tires to see if they were ok, started up my car, and drove home, still shaking from the incident.
That same night, I decide to go get some KFC, on the way I realize, lacking any money, I need to go to an ATM. While at the ATM, I am attacked by hundreds of mosquitoes and carpenter ants and who knows what else (a benefit of living near the swamp, or where I was living at the time anyway). To make matters worse, the $60 I had asked for never came out, a matter I've yet to resolve. Update: This morning I got a credit for $61 from the bank, so at least that's settled.
The next morning, I wake up, and realize that my dad, whose house I had been renting for almost three years, was moving all of his stuff. The house would in less than a day, no longer be his, and he informed me that it needed to be empty by Friday (this was Thursday morning). I was on my way to work, which I couldn't miss because I don't get paid days off. When I came back from work, around 9 or so, I had to get the boxes I had taken from work (those big huge server boxes and such) and start packing up everything I own. This is when I wrote my next entry, about the pox on my head.
At that point, I still had no idea where I was going to move to. After packing all night, save an hour or two I slept more on accident than anything, I was still clueless as to what I was going to do when the sun came up the next morning. I remembered however a website I had done for a client over a year ago, and how he had offered a studio apartment in his complex, when I told him about my daily 45 min commute to work. I called him up a few times (and e-mailed him), and when I finally got ahold of him, sure enough he had recently lost a tenant and had that same apartment available for rent.
So after a half hour drive north to drop a month and a half's rent and security deposit, I finally had a place to move to. Yet to figure out however was exactly how I was going to move there. By that evening, I had pretty much everything packed up, and my parents (my mom and stepdad) called after they got off work, and offered their help. After renting a U-Haul truck, which I paid out of my ass for, my parents, who had worked that day and my stepdad having to work the next morning, helped me move everything I owned until 2 in the morning. My stepdad, who that night had fallen and hit his head and ankle and by the end of the night could scarcely stand up, deserves a fucking medal for his help. I won't soon forget it.
By three, I was writing an e-mail to someone I'd been talking to about the events all day and night. I was finally done, and in the aforementioned 28 hour time period. My biological father, who had for all practical purposes kicked me out with virtually no notice, I've yet to talk to since that day. I imagine I'll have to eventually, to get my mail at least, but, that was the last in a long line of let downs that he would be able to give me. Obviously, there's a lot more to that story, but we'll just leave it at that.
So, you'd think things would be done then huh? I would have thought so too. Unfortunately, the worst was yet to come. I slept in three different cities in the next three consecutive nights, driving up to see some friends from the site. I'm not sure why I did that when I had barely moved in and was running on 7 hours sleep over 48 hours. I guess I kind of just needed to escape, and a few hours driving was the calmness I needed to get through the weekend. That day alone had its own quirks, having to not once, but twice buy clothes to wear because everything I had was still packed up, then missing a decent sized chunk of the get together due to a bit of miscommunication which wasn't really anyone's fault.
What followed, I'm not quite sure I understand even to this day a week later. All I know is, I think I've lost one of the closest friends I've had in my adult life, and I have no idea really why, or what to do about it. All I know is, I'm once again spending my nights alone. I guess, my mistake was hope, a mistake I don't often make, and one that I know now only leads to disappointment. Hope blinds you; what you believed was something special and unique and worth sticking with, you find out for the other person, was not much of anything at all.
So, I guess that's that. With this week being as busy as it has been, I haven't really had much time to process everything. I imagine that's probably a good thing, the few idle moments I've had to myself haven't lent themselves to particularly happy thoughts, but I'm used to that feeling and despite it realize that there are people out there that would appreciate what I have to offer, I just have to find them.
I don't expect many of you got this far, but it's more for myself than anything I guess. I've not spoken to much of anyone about any of this, and I guess letting it out here might help decompress everything I've felt over the last few weeks.
I also want to give a special thanks to Judy, for always letting me know she's around if I need her. Even though I seldom take her up on her offer, just knowing she's there makes me feel better. Thanks
If you saw a few entries ago, I was in a car accident recently. According to the police report it was my fault, which doesn't take into account the guy that cut us both off and led to the accident in the first place, but I guess that's that. I'm still waiting for the shower of that bad fortune to fully fall on me.
Not long after I volunteered to go to one of our clients to pick up a check. What would have turned out to be a half hour trip in the mid afternoon, turned out to be an hour and a half trip during rush hour, taking my least favorite highway in the 4th worst trafficked city in the country. To add to my enjoyment, this same highway incidentally was closed in both directions a few exits before I needed to get off because of an oil tanker that had decided to roll over in the middle of the highway. I eventually got there though, and took the Turnpike back to work without incident.
That same night however, I'm driving home on the same Turnpike, when I take an exit I've taken maybe 600 times before, and on the turn I spin out of control at 80 mph and run off the road backwards, landing in the grass about 50 yards away. This one really does require a picture. All I could do while I sat there, realizing that I could have easily died had there been more cars on the road, was laugh. Still 15 minutes away from my house, I just check my tires to see if they were ok, started up my car, and drove home, still shaking from the incident.
That same night, I decide to go get some KFC, on the way I realize, lacking any money, I need to go to an ATM. While at the ATM, I am attacked by hundreds of mosquitoes and carpenter ants and who knows what else (a benefit of living near the swamp, or where I was living at the time anyway). To make matters worse, the $60 I had asked for never came out, a matter I've yet to resolve. Update: This morning I got a credit for $61 from the bank, so at least that's settled.
The next morning, I wake up, and realize that my dad, whose house I had been renting for almost three years, was moving all of his stuff. The house would in less than a day, no longer be his, and he informed me that it needed to be empty by Friday (this was Thursday morning). I was on my way to work, which I couldn't miss because I don't get paid days off. When I came back from work, around 9 or so, I had to get the boxes I had taken from work (those big huge server boxes and such) and start packing up everything I own. This is when I wrote my next entry, about the pox on my head.
At that point, I still had no idea where I was going to move to. After packing all night, save an hour or two I slept more on accident than anything, I was still clueless as to what I was going to do when the sun came up the next morning. I remembered however a website I had done for a client over a year ago, and how he had offered a studio apartment in his complex, when I told him about my daily 45 min commute to work. I called him up a few times (and e-mailed him), and when I finally got ahold of him, sure enough he had recently lost a tenant and had that same apartment available for rent.
So after a half hour drive north to drop a month and a half's rent and security deposit, I finally had a place to move to. Yet to figure out however was exactly how I was going to move there. By that evening, I had pretty much everything packed up, and my parents (my mom and stepdad) called after they got off work, and offered their help. After renting a U-Haul truck, which I paid out of my ass for, my parents, who had worked that day and my stepdad having to work the next morning, helped me move everything I owned until 2 in the morning. My stepdad, who that night had fallen and hit his head and ankle and by the end of the night could scarcely stand up, deserves a fucking medal for his help. I won't soon forget it.
By three, I was writing an e-mail to someone I'd been talking to about the events all day and night. I was finally done, and in the aforementioned 28 hour time period. My biological father, who had for all practical purposes kicked me out with virtually no notice, I've yet to talk to since that day. I imagine I'll have to eventually, to get my mail at least, but, that was the last in a long line of let downs that he would be able to give me. Obviously, there's a lot more to that story, but we'll just leave it at that.
So, you'd think things would be done then huh? I would have thought so too. Unfortunately, the worst was yet to come. I slept in three different cities in the next three consecutive nights, driving up to see some friends from the site. I'm not sure why I did that when I had barely moved in and was running on 7 hours sleep over 48 hours. I guess I kind of just needed to escape, and a few hours driving was the calmness I needed to get through the weekend. That day alone had its own quirks, having to not once, but twice buy clothes to wear because everything I had was still packed up, then missing a decent sized chunk of the get together due to a bit of miscommunication which wasn't really anyone's fault.
What followed, I'm not quite sure I understand even to this day a week later. All I know is, I think I've lost one of the closest friends I've had in my adult life, and I have no idea really why, or what to do about it. All I know is, I'm once again spending my nights alone. I guess, my mistake was hope, a mistake I don't often make, and one that I know now only leads to disappointment. Hope blinds you; what you believed was something special and unique and worth sticking with, you find out for the other person, was not much of anything at all.
So, I guess that's that. With this week being as busy as it has been, I haven't really had much time to process everything. I imagine that's probably a good thing, the few idle moments I've had to myself haven't lent themselves to particularly happy thoughts, but I'm used to that feeling and despite it realize that there are people out there that would appreciate what I have to offer, I just have to find them.
I don't expect many of you got this far, but it's more for myself than anything I guess. I've not spoken to much of anyone about any of this, and I guess letting it out here might help decompress everything I've felt over the last few weeks.
I also want to give a special thanks to Judy, for always letting me know she's around if I need her. Even though I seldom take her up on her offer, just knowing she's there makes me feel better. Thanks
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
jonasgrumby:
Wow. Just wow. 
acetracer:
