I attended the Oregon Brewers Festival yesterday, which they tell me is the best beer party on the continent. I figured if there was any place I'd find an alcoholic beverage I'd actually enjoy, this would be it. So I enthusiastically bought my mug and tokens and began the tasting along with 50,000 other folks.
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/brew.jpg)
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/brew2.jpg)
Three sips into it I had pretty much given up. I'm sure you beer connoisseurs can tell the difference between a lager, ale, and stout; to me it all tastes like beer, and it's not a taste I particularly enjoy. I kept popping Altoids trying to remove that aftertaste from my mouth with little effect. I guess I'm simply not cut out to be a boozer. On the bright side, I did have some fabulously good gyros.
During the festivities atomicant informed me of his intentions to see a midget stripper, in town for one night only. Morbid curiosity got the better of me and I decided to tag along. Not able to get a van big enough to fit all of us, atomicant drew the short straw and rode on the back of my motorcycle. If you've ever seen my motorcycle you know why this is funny.
The club was an interesting joint; aquariums, a hot tub, wireless internet (not in itself unusual for Portland), and of course, one "Lil' Pixie". This girl put on quite a show, with everyone throwing hundreds of dollars on stage. I saw strippers emptying their collected tips on her, even the DJ stepped down to throw money on stage, something I've never seen before.
Afterwards we needed photographic evidence of the night, so that's when me, atomicant, and Shmelectra got a little souvenir.
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/lilpixie.jpg)
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/brew.jpg)
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/brew2.jpg)
Three sips into it I had pretty much given up. I'm sure you beer connoisseurs can tell the difference between a lager, ale, and stout; to me it all tastes like beer, and it's not a taste I particularly enjoy. I kept popping Altoids trying to remove that aftertaste from my mouth with little effect. I guess I'm simply not cut out to be a boozer. On the bright side, I did have some fabulously good gyros.
During the festivities atomicant informed me of his intentions to see a midget stripper, in town for one night only. Morbid curiosity got the better of me and I decided to tag along. Not able to get a van big enough to fit all of us, atomicant drew the short straw and rode on the back of my motorcycle. If you've ever seen my motorcycle you know why this is funny.
The club was an interesting joint; aquariums, a hot tub, wireless internet (not in itself unusual for Portland), and of course, one "Lil' Pixie". This girl put on quite a show, with everyone throwing hundreds of dollars on stage. I saw strippers emptying their collected tips on her, even the DJ stepped down to throw money on stage, something I've never seen before.
Afterwards we needed photographic evidence of the night, so that's when me, atomicant, and Shmelectra got a little souvenir.
![](https://www.acetracer.com/stuff/lilpixie.jpg)
VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
"It's good to want things."
I'm so jealous of your snazzy twitter thing. I need to get mine set up.
You gotta be like me. Don't keep so much money in your checking account. That's why there's none in mine. So it can't disappear.