Tuesday Feb 27, 2007

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I am the typical social-worker-teacher-community-center-facilitator nurturing female who puts on a cape swooping in to save everyone in need of help. I hate to be typical. But it occurs to me that I give everything I have into others/events/work and give nothing to myself. After weeks of caring for loved ones, disabled children, needy friends, etc., I have officially reached my maximum in the amout I can give. I have neglected school, the house, paperwork, bills, garden, the list goes on and on and on and on. I am staring up a mountain of work so high I can't see anything beyond. Of course, the scary part is that I have to start at the bottom and slowly work my way through the messes I have overlooked out of sheer busy-ness. It's enough to drive one insane. And (obviously) my mental well-being is paramount to maintaining a sense of balance in every aspect of life. Feeling suffocated by the overwhelming amount of work that HAS to be done is not a pleasant feeling. I think I need to begin to adopt a more selfish attitude with regard to my time. Just say no, right? How do I begin to find time for myself and do something that has nothing to do with all that's hanging over my head? Better yet...how do I justify treating myself to something purely selfish when I would feel guilty about not tackling the backed up, endless 'to do' list?
drfeelgood:
Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are? The truth is....you are far from typical and there lies the struggle. Your priorities don't match with those of society.

I think what you are describing is our battle with reality. For many of us, we don't like the world as we see it. We see others in need, and we try to help. The problem is that the machine keeps chugging along. We continue to have to comply with the ugly realities of life. Bills, housework (not the fun stuff like gardening but things like cleaning and laundry), car maintenance, etc. These all suck our energy away. If you are like me, you probably avoid those things until they hit crisis mode. Then everything is in crisis mode!

What makes YOU, you? What adds to your soul and what subtracts? I think the key is finding a balance so we don't end up in a deficit. Can you block out a small portion of time each week to do nothing but bills? That way they aren't allowed to be an everday issue. Maybe the same with housework? I find this helpful for me. I do ALL of my cleaning and laundry in one day. At work, I devote one (I need more than one) day to correspondence. It's kind of a quarantine approach so the shitty stuff can't screw with the good stuff.

As for you and your needs. YOU ARE VALID AND SO ARE YOUR NEEDS! Allow yourself a day or two to recharge without guilt. That is not being selfish. It's survival.

Dr. Phil has competition!

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