LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE WARNING SIGNS!
How can you tell if you're stuck in a conversation with a boring person? Pay attention and watch for the tell-tale phrases!
"I'm spiritual, not religious."
(What does spiritual mean? What does religious mean? So you've experienced something you can't explain, probably because you haven't tried, but you really don't want to think about it because it might affect you to know that you either have to live up to some sort of ethical standard or that when you die, you're just dead. This answer basically means, "I don't want to think about it." Considering that whether or not there's a god and what it wants with us is a fundamental question about the nature of all reality, you'd think you'd at least put a little effort into it.)
"I like all music except country and rap."
(I bet his favorite bands are the Beatles, Jimmy Buffet, and Pink Floyd. That's not to say there's anything wrong with any of those - well, except Buffet. But this is someone who has apparently never tried to explore music. This is someone who's never gotten the chills after a particularly awesome part of a song. Everyone should have at least one song they like in every genre - including country and rap. But what REALLY speaks to you? Anything?)
"I don't really pay attention to politics. They're all liars."
(Everyone hates politicians, so it's easy to just be cynical about it without examining anything at all. You might consider asking this person what he or she intends to do about the apparent fact that all politicians are liars. Shouldn't that be cause for some sort of action? Isn't that essentially suggesting that our government is a tyranny in the guise of democracy? Watch how fast they back off. Or, even better, they'll take the, "Nah, the whole system's screwed, you couldn't ever accomplish anything." Ask them what the system should look like. It's easy to be cynical and offer no solutions.)
"Jesus was a great man, it's just his followers that are the problem."
(This person is trying to say something that no one can possibly disagree with. His role models are probably Ghandi and Mother Theresa. Even Christians can't get angry about it, because they hate Those Other Fucking Christians Over There Who Clearly Have It Wrong. Fact is, Jesus was the guy who brought the whole concept of Hell into the picture. Not that great a guy, actually.)
"Religions all basically teach you to be good to other people, it's just that some people take them too literally."
(Yes, somewhere in every religion you can find something that can possibly be interpreted as "be decent." Most religions like to present themselves this way, because then they seem like harmless and virtuous organizations. Any deep knowledge of any religion, however, will tell you that religions are VASTLY different from one another, and the basis of their belief almost never rests on the "be a good person" rule. Also, they all have vastly different ideas of what a "good person" is.)
"We'll never know everything about (any subject here)."
(People who think we can never know everything about anything have no understanding of history, and no imagination about the future. They don't understand how knowledge has progressed and will continue to progress.)
"But why do we need labels?"
(This person is questioning the basis for all language. Literally. When anyone says this to you, hold up the nearest object and ask that person to explain what it is without utilizing any labels. "But how do you KNOW it's an ashtray? It's not shaped like any other tray I've seen, and just because it happens to contains ash right now, that doesn't DEFINE the item, man!")
"I guess if I HAD to label myself, I would be (insert ridiculous amalgamation of labels obviously selected to sound mysterious and rebellious - example Pagan-Christian-Anarchist)."
(This person has no idea how these labels contradict each other because he or she hasn't actually put any thought into his or her beliefs. This will also probably be the same person complaining that labels are useless.)
"My cat (followed by literally anything)."
(Unless followed by the phrase, "single-handedly fought a shark and won," there are no interesting cat stories. I've cared for a cat, I speak from experience. Cats do the same dumb things other cats do.)
"All the haters (followed by literally anything)."
(People who complain about "haters" are usually referring to the many people who have completely legitimate reasons for disliking them.)
"no drama!!!!"
(People who complain about drama are almost always the cause.)
How can you tell that people who use these statements are boring?
Simple! They require no thought. These are all code for, "I haven't really given the matter much thought, but I've heard a lot of other people say this and it sounds generally reasonable to me." Most of these statements are meant to kill conversations. The rest all betray a certain amount of egotism on the part of the speaker.
How can you tell if you're stuck in a conversation with a boring person? Pay attention and watch for the tell-tale phrases!
"I'm spiritual, not religious."
(What does spiritual mean? What does religious mean? So you've experienced something you can't explain, probably because you haven't tried, but you really don't want to think about it because it might affect you to know that you either have to live up to some sort of ethical standard or that when you die, you're just dead. This answer basically means, "I don't want to think about it." Considering that whether or not there's a god and what it wants with us is a fundamental question about the nature of all reality, you'd think you'd at least put a little effort into it.)
"I like all music except country and rap."
(I bet his favorite bands are the Beatles, Jimmy Buffet, and Pink Floyd. That's not to say there's anything wrong with any of those - well, except Buffet. But this is someone who has apparently never tried to explore music. This is someone who's never gotten the chills after a particularly awesome part of a song. Everyone should have at least one song they like in every genre - including country and rap. But what REALLY speaks to you? Anything?)
"I don't really pay attention to politics. They're all liars."
(Everyone hates politicians, so it's easy to just be cynical about it without examining anything at all. You might consider asking this person what he or she intends to do about the apparent fact that all politicians are liars. Shouldn't that be cause for some sort of action? Isn't that essentially suggesting that our government is a tyranny in the guise of democracy? Watch how fast they back off. Or, even better, they'll take the, "Nah, the whole system's screwed, you couldn't ever accomplish anything." Ask them what the system should look like. It's easy to be cynical and offer no solutions.)
"Jesus was a great man, it's just his followers that are the problem."
(This person is trying to say something that no one can possibly disagree with. His role models are probably Ghandi and Mother Theresa. Even Christians can't get angry about it, because they hate Those Other Fucking Christians Over There Who Clearly Have It Wrong. Fact is, Jesus was the guy who brought the whole concept of Hell into the picture. Not that great a guy, actually.)
"Religions all basically teach you to be good to other people, it's just that some people take them too literally."
(Yes, somewhere in every religion you can find something that can possibly be interpreted as "be decent." Most religions like to present themselves this way, because then they seem like harmless and virtuous organizations. Any deep knowledge of any religion, however, will tell you that religions are VASTLY different from one another, and the basis of their belief almost never rests on the "be a good person" rule. Also, they all have vastly different ideas of what a "good person" is.)
"We'll never know everything about (any subject here)."
(People who think we can never know everything about anything have no understanding of history, and no imagination about the future. They don't understand how knowledge has progressed and will continue to progress.)
"But why do we need labels?"
(This person is questioning the basis for all language. Literally. When anyone says this to you, hold up the nearest object and ask that person to explain what it is without utilizing any labels. "But how do you KNOW it's an ashtray? It's not shaped like any other tray I've seen, and just because it happens to contains ash right now, that doesn't DEFINE the item, man!")
"I guess if I HAD to label myself, I would be (insert ridiculous amalgamation of labels obviously selected to sound mysterious and rebellious - example Pagan-Christian-Anarchist)."
(This person has no idea how these labels contradict each other because he or she hasn't actually put any thought into his or her beliefs. This will also probably be the same person complaining that labels are useless.)
"My cat (followed by literally anything)."
(Unless followed by the phrase, "single-handedly fought a shark and won," there are no interesting cat stories. I've cared for a cat, I speak from experience. Cats do the same dumb things other cats do.)
"All the haters (followed by literally anything)."
(People who complain about "haters" are usually referring to the many people who have completely legitimate reasons for disliking them.)
"no drama!!!!"
(People who complain about drama are almost always the cause.)
How can you tell that people who use these statements are boring?
Simple! They require no thought. These are all code for, "I haven't really given the matter much thought, but I've heard a lot of other people say this and it sounds generally reasonable to me." Most of these statements are meant to kill conversations. The rest all betray a certain amount of egotism on the part of the speaker.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Yeah! And boring!
1. I don't think Jesus introduced the whole concept of hell into the picture. The idea at the very least goes back to the Greek Hades, a word that is sometimes used in the New Testament to supposely refer to hell. There's also the Jewish concept of Gehenna, and then you also have various mythologies, like the Egyptian mythos, who are a lot older than Christianity and do contain some kind of hell analogue.
2. Are you this aggressive in real life? Because it seems to me that what you're complaining here about is the fact that people don't want to have an argument with you. And it really depends on the social context that you're in whether having an argument is appropiate or not. Since you only vaguely refer to "people" here, I'm guessing that you're whining about strangers that you meet in some kind of shared social happening...thing. And they don't tend to follow the logical end of their train of thought because they don't want to question their beliefs. This probably is because they're not looking for an argument in the first case, and all the vague metaphysical shit is just a marker of what "kind" of person they are, a bit like saying "I'm gay and from Colorado. What about you?". Fact is, a lot of shit is talked about during conversations with other people, and this is because emphasis is put on the talking bit, the style so to speak, rather than the content. This is called "small talk".
Moreover, things can become complicated if you do choose to have an argument. Let's take the Jesus example. You imply that he was not a very nice person because he introduced the concept of hell. They ask you why, and you give an example; I don't know, the bit where Jesus says such and such evil evildoer will burn in flames. And then the discussion will turn on the meaning of the example you've given, whether is supposed to be metaphorical or just a straight up condemnation. That kind of argument sounds stupid, but it's valid because often the whole point of the stuff that you read in the Bible is that they're parables, stories meant to illustrate some innate moral truth through some imaginative story. Another question can also be brought up: did Jesus really say that? Because the idea of a historical Jesus is quite fuzzy, and different writers of the Bible had different conceptions of the man. The Jesus in the Matthew gospels is not necessarily the same as the one in John. The Testaments are anything but consistent.
...so everything turns into this immense theological discussion, and the point I'm trying to make here is: do you really want to go there? I sure as fuck can't remember the last time I had a theological battle with some random person I met at a party. So I think the problem here is that people don't want to explain their beliefs to you because they're think you're weird and they don't trust you. The fact that you don't say whether you ever had an answer back says it all really. I say live and let live, which doesn't mean you shouldn't question what people say. Just be aware that people only open up under certain circumstances. The ridiculous generalizations they put out may reveal themselves to be something more complex if they feel comfortable enough for that kind of debate. I get the impression you're the kind of guy that is very quiet and listens, but doesn't say much about himself. *shrug*