accuser

Well, I got the job.

I will, as of the 26th, officially be a forensic pathologist for the dreams and hopes of Americans.

Wait, not officially. Figuratively. That's the word.

But yes, the job is to, essentially, look at where someone's attempt to secure a mortgage went horribly wrong and write up reports about it. As you can imagine, this company is doing very well right now. The job itself actually seems pretty cool, despite the language I like to use. There are security passes and stuff. Also, no hours. As long as I produce a certain amount, I can work as much or as little as I want. If I produce more than the certain amount, I am paid more.

It's a very detective-like job, in that about 60% of it is independent research (generally using the Internet) and 40% is interviews. The difference is that I'm not after crime, I'm after fraud. Wait, fraud is a crime. Well. Small-scale fraud.

But the most important thing about this job, bar none - I can wear whatever the hell I want. I've wanted that freedom for so long!

Okay, maybe that's not the most important thing. The most important thing is probably that the flexibility will allow me to go to the gym, as I resolved that I would this year, and write my book.

Also, I'll be working with my best friend.

EDIT

ARGH I HAVE THIS HORRIBLE FUCKING CANKER SORE RIGHT ON THE BOTTOM OF MY TONGUE NEAR THE TIP! IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE!