Just add Paris Hilton...
And then my greatest... annoyances, let's say, would all be gathered in one spot. This week President Bush will meet with former Hitler Youth, Joseph Ratzinger, better known as the Pope.
Now, in all fairness, membership in the Hitler Youth was legally required at the time. Ratzinger didn't join willingly. He and his family did not support the Nazis.
Strange that the organization he heads had such a confusing response to the whole Hitler unpleasantness.
Honestly, how do you not excommunicate Hitler? Seems like that one would be a freebie. Not a single Nazi excommunicated for participation in mass slaughter. I mean, you excommunicated this crazy but generally harmless guy so clearly you knew how to work the Excommunicator1500. Soooo... priests getting married=excommunicated, genocide=finger wagging. Gotcha.
Anyways, I'd feel bad about the unjustified attack on the Pope, but then I remember he's giving this guy a job and place to live.
I mean, the guy has the gall to name these new sins..... damn it, I'm going down the list.
Polluting- Okay, fair enough, I don't think the Church has contributed much to pollution and it's a Bad Thing. I don't know that it doesn't already fall under a combination of Gluttony and Sloth, but at this point their failing is bad writing. If that was my problem, I'd spend more time on George Lucas than religion.
Genetic engineering- Uh, why? I know this is one of those things that you guys like to say is inherently wrong, but fuck you, you don't get to make ridiculous proclamations like that with no justification. That's what I'd say before I kick him down a flight of stairs into my moat full of aquatic black panthers. Then I turn the skull on the torch to open the secret passage to my room, where I proceed to have sex with Jessica Alba. If you're so smart, Pope, think about this: Jessica Alba is pregnant. Without genetic engineering, how is your average guy supposed to have sex with her? I accept your apology.
Being obscenely rich- LOLZ. People in massive golden palaces with millions of dollars worth of stained glass shouldn't throw priceless, heavy artifacts. Greed, btw.
Drug dealing- This is another of those "why?" things. I mean, yeah, to kids, sure. But for an adult, what's the difference between this guy and a bartender? Or the convenience store clerk? Or the fast food peddler? Also, I'm pretty sure you could cover this with "greed", since that goes to the motivation. You're really fucking up the poetic eloquence of the seven sins.
Abortion- Why do I keep having to ask why? Oh right, because they don't feel a need to explain themselves. I know, right to life. When does that whole thing start? Cause if we're talking about cells with the potential to create human life, then we're all mass murderers on a scale we couldn't possibly comprehend. But I will give credit where it's due- there are decent reasons to oppose abortion and you can even base them on logic. So you're thinking, and I like that.
Pedophilia- Go home, take a shower, wash the shame off yourself. You have got to be kidding me. This is like George Bush declaring it illegal to pronounce it "nuk-u-lar".
"Okay guys, I know we really fucked up, what with the raping your children and all that, and then turning around and trying to hide it, and trying to protect the child rapists, and trying to avoid paying you the money you were awarded in court battles, but look! It's a sin now! You can trust us again! Yeah, turns out it WAS a bad thing. See, at the time, it wasn't officially a sin so we didn't realize that raping your children wasn't what you had in mind when you sent them over for lessons on the importance of chastity. But hey, on the bright side, they won't be having sex for pleasure for a long, long time. Trust me, we fucked that right out of them. So anyways, do you have this week's tithe? Remember, it's 10% of the gross, not net."
Also I'm pretty sure this counts under Lust. Like, really obviously.
Causing social injustice- Okay. Serenity now.
Is slavery a social injustice?
How about a massive death toll to AIDS?
Founding the cause for modern homophobia?
How about torturing people for exercising freedom of speech and thought?
Honestly, need I even go on?
And then my greatest... annoyances, let's say, would all be gathered in one spot. This week President Bush will meet with former Hitler Youth, Joseph Ratzinger, better known as the Pope.
Now, in all fairness, membership in the Hitler Youth was legally required at the time. Ratzinger didn't join willingly. He and his family did not support the Nazis.
Strange that the organization he heads had such a confusing response to the whole Hitler unpleasantness.
Honestly, how do you not excommunicate Hitler? Seems like that one would be a freebie. Not a single Nazi excommunicated for participation in mass slaughter. I mean, you excommunicated this crazy but generally harmless guy so clearly you knew how to work the Excommunicator1500. Soooo... priests getting married=excommunicated, genocide=finger wagging. Gotcha.
Anyways, I'd feel bad about the unjustified attack on the Pope, but then I remember he's giving this guy a job and place to live.
I mean, the guy has the gall to name these new sins..... damn it, I'm going down the list.
Polluting- Okay, fair enough, I don't think the Church has contributed much to pollution and it's a Bad Thing. I don't know that it doesn't already fall under a combination of Gluttony and Sloth, but at this point their failing is bad writing. If that was my problem, I'd spend more time on George Lucas than religion.
Genetic engineering- Uh, why? I know this is one of those things that you guys like to say is inherently wrong, but fuck you, you don't get to make ridiculous proclamations like that with no justification. That's what I'd say before I kick him down a flight of stairs into my moat full of aquatic black panthers. Then I turn the skull on the torch to open the secret passage to my room, where I proceed to have sex with Jessica Alba. If you're so smart, Pope, think about this: Jessica Alba is pregnant. Without genetic engineering, how is your average guy supposed to have sex with her? I accept your apology.
Being obscenely rich- LOLZ. People in massive golden palaces with millions of dollars worth of stained glass shouldn't throw priceless, heavy artifacts. Greed, btw.
Drug dealing- This is another of those "why?" things. I mean, yeah, to kids, sure. But for an adult, what's the difference between this guy and a bartender? Or the convenience store clerk? Or the fast food peddler? Also, I'm pretty sure you could cover this with "greed", since that goes to the motivation. You're really fucking up the poetic eloquence of the seven sins.
Abortion- Why do I keep having to ask why? Oh right, because they don't feel a need to explain themselves. I know, right to life. When does that whole thing start? Cause if we're talking about cells with the potential to create human life, then we're all mass murderers on a scale we couldn't possibly comprehend. But I will give credit where it's due- there are decent reasons to oppose abortion and you can even base them on logic. So you're thinking, and I like that.
Pedophilia- Go home, take a shower, wash the shame off yourself. You have got to be kidding me. This is like George Bush declaring it illegal to pronounce it "nuk-u-lar".
"Okay guys, I know we really fucked up, what with the raping your children and all that, and then turning around and trying to hide it, and trying to protect the child rapists, and trying to avoid paying you the money you were awarded in court battles, but look! It's a sin now! You can trust us again! Yeah, turns out it WAS a bad thing. See, at the time, it wasn't officially a sin so we didn't realize that raping your children wasn't what you had in mind when you sent them over for lessons on the importance of chastity. But hey, on the bright side, they won't be having sex for pleasure for a long, long time. Trust me, we fucked that right out of them. So anyways, do you have this week's tithe? Remember, it's 10% of the gross, not net."
Also I'm pretty sure this counts under Lust. Like, really obviously.
Causing social injustice- Okay. Serenity now.
Is slavery a social injustice?
How about a massive death toll to AIDS?
Founding the cause for modern homophobia?
How about torturing people for exercising freedom of speech and thought?
Honestly, need I even go on?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I can't believe anyone would swallow that shit. It just boggles my mind. Pretty soon it will be a sin to leave the water running while you brush your teeth, or to wear big hats and colorful robes if your a man (and not the pope).
Ha, what sin will they think of next (that isn't ridiculously obviously bad like invading another country under pretense of freeing them). Hm.