abyssia

paralyzing fear grips
grasps at me
holds me down
i cannot move free
trapped, i am
and pissed as hell
at this world,
this universe
draw blood from the well
of life?
maybe not
perpetual strife then?
i do not know.
just a well
dark and inky
sticky and sweet
a place to rest
a place to eat
such sadness wraps
around me
a blanket secure
the pain that i've given
will come to me
i know
not a knife's wound
nor a wayward glance
shall be forgiven
i'd never ask
how to break this cycle?
i beg a reprieve
may i rest at the well?
i've a thirst it can slake
i am so tired
of your rules and
your ways
if i cannot shred them
then let me go free
i've no tears left
for what's come before
my only fear
you ought not ignore
deaths upon deaths
pain and rage
damnation holds me close
licking at me, salacious
and sincere
just let me out
let me out!
such sadness
such anger
and so much fear
you do not want me around
believe what i say
this yoke of destruction
has been thrust upon me
what i love, i kill
trust me now
it is my destiny
if only i were able...
my dream - to slide quietly,
anonymous, into the ground.
even then, i'd undoubtedly
poison the well.