abyssia

In my last post I spoke of being betrayed - I didn't want to focus on it - I just wanted to move on. Unfortunately, the man who raped me is now a member of SG for the sole purpose of spying on me. Sadly, there is nothing I can do to feel safe even here, so I will be leaving. Those of you who speak with me regularly know how to reach me. This is one of the saddest things I've had to do thus far - though it is very far behind leaving my canine companion Maity with that man. She is my baby and he is now saying that since this year, for what is likely the first time ever, he sent in her registration, Maity is his. He is doing this deliberately to hurt me. How low can a person go? A man I thought I knew for over eleven years.... And now, I must leave SG as well. He knows this is my "therapy." But there you have it - the-rape-ist has lost his bearings entirely - no moral compass - no ethics. Yes, I am bitter. No, I am not vindictive. Mostly, I am deeply saddened by and disappointed in him. Many will think I'm being too easy on him, but all I really want is for him to seek help. I know there is nothing I can really to to help him if he won't help himself. Prison, at least in this country, is not a place for rehabilitation. Perhaps I am too kind. I am still coming to terms with the simple fact of these words: "B---- Raped Me." He has even said it to me. He offered to turn himself in. Perhaps I should have taken him up on that offer. Maybe I truly am naive and stupid. I AM in one hell of a place mentally. I will miss talking with the wonderful people I have met through this site. I will not learn the lesson he is trying to teach however. I will go on loving and trusting people - perhaps with a bit more caution - but I won't give up on humanity. I thought he was a good man. I tried to help him. I tried so very hard to do right by him. I am just so sad.