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absinthe

SG Since 2004

Followers 1655 Following 114

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Saturday Feb 19, 2005

Feb 19, 2005
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Misfit

Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. I've been feeling like this too much lately. I've been feeling like the confident girl who started the year out feeling ahead has now fallen behind. I feel shy around my own friends. I spend a lot of time doing alone sort of things.
Its like the me from highschool is coming back with a vengeance. Where did this resurgance come from? I've always had a hard time getting close to people, to friends. Boys are a lot easier sometimes.
I've also bee having these doubts and questions about where my life is going and what the hell I'm doing. Im afriad that if i pursure what I love that I'll never succeed. I feel like my whole life I've never been really, really good at something ... just kind of decent but slightly sub par.

I'm also pretty sub-par at reading my bookmarks. I'm sorry guys.

Its sad I've had this mood swing on such a sunny day. There are these flowers outside my window that smell so insanely good. I like spring so uch, I think its just that whole concept of regereration that makes me feel like Im in a place I'd hoped to be ahead of. And this homesickness has taken hold of me. Yuk.

I think I'm going to go eat waffles now. kiss
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
akira069:
you know, I feel like I can totally relate. I think maybe the self doubt is surfacing and you'll go through this confused state of not being sure about anything, then you'll realign again and become confident once you've found your direction. I have that from time to time, but I know that I work it out somehow. Doing what you love is a very important thing, and I think that if you have the opportunity to do that, it will be more soulfully rewarding than anything else. just have a calm mind and think. I think your brain is leading you into that anyway, it seems. make it a great day. aloha! kiss
Feb 21, 2005
superstringboy:
i understand this pretty well.
i only have really strong friendships with women.
there are exceptions, but not many.
all but like three of my best/closest friends are girls.

i guess i feel like they understand me better.
but, if you need to talk about anything, drop me a line, aim me, or email me and ask for my number. its yours.
i really feel good when i am able to help people out.
and i've gone through a lot of shit in the past few years, so i have alot of experience with pain and dealing with shit in my own life.

plus you're a friend of a girl i know in real life! hah.
anyway.
later.

keep what i said in mind.

love, always.
gavin.
Feb 21, 2005

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