Stories Etc
So Alohra and myself went to watch "Ropalion" (visit her journal for more explanation) and some other folks read their poems and stories and play songs. They were all really tanlented. I think about the things that come out of people - their words, their emotions, their desire for spiritual understanding - its just really intense. It made me feel like I'm not doing enough with my young life. I would like to invent something or write something or something. I fear the unlived life. I just wish I has some good "skills." ("you know, numchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills ...")
I miss writing in a diary, but I dont have the time or energy or desperate need for it that I did in high school and junior high. Thats why I update on SG so often, because I like writing down my days and my thoughts. BUt I always find myself censoring myself. I have to cultivate the 'air of mystery,' for one, but then I dont know. Imagine if I told the absolute truth on the internet! But, isnt everything on the internet true?
All this frustrates me. There's so much I want to do, and I feel stagnated. I love my classes and all, but I want to travel, have some adventures, get more involved in life. I feel distant from many of my friends ever since coming back 2 weeks ago, and I feel like Im not doing enough even though Im busy. And things with the Boy are strained ... being apart brings out the jealousy and insecurity in both of us. Sleeping alone and all that is hard. One thing "Ropalion" talked about was this philosophy (from some weird island) about how evverything in the universe was made to fit into something else. I'm definitly missing the piece that fits me. The bellybutton for my thumb to fit in to, the arms to wrap around me, the big spoon to my little spoon.
Some Things about Me:
-I have a crush on Chester from Sifl and Olly
-I have the active-est imagination in the world. I saw a japanese horrow flick two days ago and I still cant sleep til its light out because I stay up too late and my roomate's not around and Im freaked out!
-I want to buy this white car from the 70s that has $600 written on it. So I can go everywhere. Ive decided Im going to call the number written on the windshield and if I'm sure its not a lemon I will try to buy it for $300 or less.
-I want to be 21 NOW so Alohra and I can drink sake in sushi restaurants and buy wine at trader joes and go to Suicide Sinferno and go to clubs in scenester-wear and drink cosmos and look snotty.
-I eat so much candy all the time. Seriously I'm made of refined sugar.
-I miss lessthanthree ♥
-I feel really smart about computers because I got FTP and AIM ! now those are some skills.
-oh yeah - one of my few good skills is Tetris ! I could play Tetris all day long.
-Even though I've said it's lame for years, I decided I really want a valentine this year. I'm 19, and I've never gotten a love valentine. And even tho I hate Hallmark I love stationary (which explains my adoration of Hello Kitty) and I loved making those paperbag valentine holders in gradeschool and getting those tear-off valentine cards and eating "sweethearts."
-I just died my hair magenta ! well, the rest is brown, but magenta is a good color.
Well thats that for now. Off to bed I think as soon as I see the day's sets go up!
So Alohra and myself went to watch "Ropalion" (visit her journal for more explanation) and some other folks read their poems and stories and play songs. They were all really tanlented. I think about the things that come out of people - their words, their emotions, their desire for spiritual understanding - its just really intense. It made me feel like I'm not doing enough with my young life. I would like to invent something or write something or something. I fear the unlived life. I just wish I has some good "skills." ("you know, numchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills ...")
I miss writing in a diary, but I dont have the time or energy or desperate need for it that I did in high school and junior high. Thats why I update on SG so often, because I like writing down my days and my thoughts. BUt I always find myself censoring myself. I have to cultivate the 'air of mystery,' for one, but then I dont know. Imagine if I told the absolute truth on the internet! But, isnt everything on the internet true?
All this frustrates me. There's so much I want to do, and I feel stagnated. I love my classes and all, but I want to travel, have some adventures, get more involved in life. I feel distant from many of my friends ever since coming back 2 weeks ago, and I feel like Im not doing enough even though Im busy. And things with the Boy are strained ... being apart brings out the jealousy and insecurity in both of us. Sleeping alone and all that is hard. One thing "Ropalion" talked about was this philosophy (from some weird island) about how evverything in the universe was made to fit into something else. I'm definitly missing the piece that fits me. The bellybutton for my thumb to fit in to, the arms to wrap around me, the big spoon to my little spoon.
Some Things about Me:
-I have a crush on Chester from Sifl and Olly
-I have the active-est imagination in the world. I saw a japanese horrow flick two days ago and I still cant sleep til its light out because I stay up too late and my roomate's not around and Im freaked out!
-I want to buy this white car from the 70s that has $600 written on it. So I can go everywhere. Ive decided Im going to call the number written on the windshield and if I'm sure its not a lemon I will try to buy it for $300 or less.
-I want to be 21 NOW so Alohra and I can drink sake in sushi restaurants and buy wine at trader joes and go to Suicide Sinferno and go to clubs in scenester-wear and drink cosmos and look snotty.
-I eat so much candy all the time. Seriously I'm made of refined sugar.
-I miss lessthanthree ♥
-I feel really smart about computers because I got FTP and AIM ! now those are some skills.
-oh yeah - one of my few good skills is Tetris ! I could play Tetris all day long.
-Even though I've said it's lame for years, I decided I really want a valentine this year. I'm 19, and I've never gotten a love valentine. And even tho I hate Hallmark I love stationary (which explains my adoration of Hello Kitty) and I loved making those paperbag valentine holders in gradeschool and getting those tear-off valentine cards and eating "sweethearts."
-I just died my hair magenta ! well, the rest is brown, but magenta is a good color.
Well thats that for now. Off to bed I think as soon as I see the day's sets go up!
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
agamemnoch:
Neat I just did my hair too. Long and spiky with blond highlights it actually came out really good. It's the first time I've got highlights. I love Tetris too, It's been probably a year since I have last played though. Maybe something that I should get back into. 
Also, just wanted to say hello.
Also, just wanted to say hello.
triplesixer:
Speed hump signals one to slow down