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absinthe

SG Since 2004

Followers 1655 Following 114

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Thursday Sep 23, 2004

Sep 23, 2004
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lately i've been thinking about the direction my life is going to go. My pottery teacher/artisan guy gave me this zen thing to read - about 'just being' and 'letting go.' But it's a scary thing to think about, now that I'm almost stepping into my second decade, about how little time we've got. i don't think I could be zen enough to 'just die.' i imagine I'll live and die clinging onto the world desperately.
When you're 10, you're just ending being a child. When your 20, you're just ending being a teenager. When you're 30, you're just ending being a 'young adult.' When you're 40, you're ending the half of your life where your body and mind are still on the upward trajectory, still growing/regenerating etc. let's not talk about the rest. And time seems like it just goes exponencially faster and faster. Not to be bleak or anything.
timmayj used to say that when we're old, someone will have invented a youth potion. But i realized that, just in case they dont, that for now a diet built around Pabst and junkfood is not what's going to carry me into a ripe old age. So to make up for last night (where PBR, a big jar of pringles, a bag of gummi candy, chocolate, and two of my good buddies intersected in one tasty inferno) I'm going on a day-long zen fast. Juice and tea and water for me, yum! kiss
who's more zen than Absinthe. Thats right, my karma ran over your dogma.

We'll see if i make it to dinner alive ... whatever
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
timmayj:
They wont invent a youth potion. Ive lost faith in humanity. When I get too old Ill simply die
Sep 23, 2004
suicidal_george:
I hate to break it to you, but it's thirty where you start falling apart. Trust me on this. But you're right about things speeding up. I suspect that it has to do with how you mark time. When you're a kid you set your calender to birthdays and xmas (or whatever). Later in life you live from paycheck to paycheck. Meh, it's just a theory....

As for zen, it can be very tricky. It's more like using a thorn to pick out another thorn, but it can very easily become using blood to wash off blood. The amazing thing is that kids do "it" right off the bat naturally but it takes a little zen to open the your eyes later and find your way back. It's not so much as remembering as putting down, or better yet: dissolving.

Mountains are mountains
But mountains are not mountains
Until mountains are mountains again

Don't mind me, zen and conspiracy theory always get me to typing. whatever
Sep 23, 2004

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