So last night my friends and I went to Petco and liberated a hampster from a life of suffering! I think my good karma for the week has been fullfilled.
We were looking at pretty peach-colored ones when we saw this tenny-tiny dwarf hamster that was being
raped by all the other hampsers. ... it was like, hampster prison or something (wait, duh, Petco is pet prison)
. But we didn't have enough money to buy it. Thankfully our friend Jeremy showed up at the exact opportune moment and lent us $4 (and bought hampster treats too, yay! Wow this is a testament to what broke ho's we are ... aren't hampsters supposed to be like, $5 ?).
Since dwarf hamsters come from Siberia we decided to give it a nice Northernly-Eastern European name, but the only thing Katie and I could think of was the guy who inspired the myth of Count Dracula. So our new badass $12.99 hampster's name is
Vlad The Impaler!
You go Vlad. You're nobody's bitch now.
p.s - I'm retarded. Somebody tell me how to upload pics into my candids. I really need you to spell it out for me, because this new-fangled computer stuff makes no sense to poor Absinthe.

We were looking at pretty peach-colored ones when we saw this tenny-tiny dwarf hamster that was being
raped by all the other hampsers. ... it was like, hampster prison or something (wait, duh, Petco is pet prison)

Since dwarf hamsters come from Siberia we decided to give it a nice Northernly-Eastern European name, but the only thing Katie and I could think of was the guy who inspired the myth of Count Dracula. So our new badass $12.99 hampster's name is




You go Vlad. You're nobody's bitch now.
p.s - I'm retarded. Somebody tell me how to upload pics into my candids. I really need you to spell it out for me, because this new-fangled computer stuff makes no sense to poor Absinthe.

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I did the same for 2 rats recently. One of them is blind, so I felt bad for it. I'm a sucker.