How to Get Over Him and Never Think About Him Again
Vow to never call him again. When you want to call him, call all your friends instead, in alphabetical order. Most of them wont answer. Somewhere around K, open a bottle of wine. By the time youre through the alphabet youll be through half the bottle of wine and rather drunk. Call him and leave a long, tearful message. Wake up ashamed, head aching. Vow to never call him again. While youre at it, vow to stop drinking, too.
Write down everything about him that ever annoyed you. How hed go to bed without brushing his teeth, how he made you feel stupid when you didnt get his obscure jokes, how he criticized your driving, how emotionally detached he was, how he always walked just a little too quickly for you to keep up with him. When you run out of faults, make some up.
Decide to take up a new hobby. Cartography, amateur radio, painting miniature spacemen. Go to the library and check out a stack of books on your new hobby. Bring the books home and set them in a corner, where you wont look at them again.
Buy expensive shoes you cant afford. Drop your last dollar in the tip jar at the coffee shop where the cute barista works. Eat cold Pop Tarts for dinner.
Dont tear apart your apartment looking for every picture of the two of you and every letter he ever wrote to you. Dont wear his old sweatshirt to bed every night. Dont listen to Patsy Clines Crazy again and again and again. Dont listen to any Billie Holiday. Watch Casablanca and note all the ways he is inferior to Rick.
Maintain whats left of your life. The alarm, shower, coffee, bus, elevator up, mindless talk, pointless tasks, elevator down, bus, home.
Forget him a little more each day. Forget what kind of underwear he wore (boxer briefs), forget his favorite drink (Campari and soda), forget the color of his eyes (bottomless brown, flecked with bits of greens and blues).
Remind yourself how much better things are without him. How you dont have to defend your taste in movies or be embarrassed about sleeping with the light on.
Sleep with the light on, whenever you want.
Get to the place beyond mere sadness. The place behind the heart, cold and arid and lonesome. Stay there a while. Start a campfire, roast some marshmallows. Sit with your pain. Give it a marshmallow. Nurse your pain until it grows into an anger. Feed that anger and keep it strong.
Know that he will never find anyone as good as you. Know that he has lost even more than you have, because he has lost you.
Vow to never call him again. When you want to call him, call all your friends instead, in alphabetical order. Most of them wont answer. Somewhere around K, open a bottle of wine. By the time youre through the alphabet youll be through half the bottle of wine and rather drunk. Call him and leave a long, tearful message. Wake up ashamed, head aching. Vow to never call him again. While youre at it, vow to stop drinking, too.
Write down everything about him that ever annoyed you. How hed go to bed without brushing his teeth, how he made you feel stupid when you didnt get his obscure jokes, how he criticized your driving, how emotionally detached he was, how he always walked just a little too quickly for you to keep up with him. When you run out of faults, make some up.
Decide to take up a new hobby. Cartography, amateur radio, painting miniature spacemen. Go to the library and check out a stack of books on your new hobby. Bring the books home and set them in a corner, where you wont look at them again.
Buy expensive shoes you cant afford. Drop your last dollar in the tip jar at the coffee shop where the cute barista works. Eat cold Pop Tarts for dinner.
Dont tear apart your apartment looking for every picture of the two of you and every letter he ever wrote to you. Dont wear his old sweatshirt to bed every night. Dont listen to Patsy Clines Crazy again and again and again. Dont listen to any Billie Holiday. Watch Casablanca and note all the ways he is inferior to Rick.
Maintain whats left of your life. The alarm, shower, coffee, bus, elevator up, mindless talk, pointless tasks, elevator down, bus, home.
Forget him a little more each day. Forget what kind of underwear he wore (boxer briefs), forget his favorite drink (Campari and soda), forget the color of his eyes (bottomless brown, flecked with bits of greens and blues).
Remind yourself how much better things are without him. How you dont have to defend your taste in movies or be embarrassed about sleeping with the light on.
Sleep with the light on, whenever you want.
Get to the place beyond mere sadness. The place behind the heart, cold and arid and lonesome. Stay there a while. Start a campfire, roast some marshmallows. Sit with your pain. Give it a marshmallow. Nurse your pain until it grows into an anger. Feed that anger and keep it strong.
Know that he will never find anyone as good as you. Know that he has lost even more than you have, because he has lost you.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
catdad:
Having a bit of a rough time lately, huh? I do hope you work through the pain quickly. 
happyboy:
You are so passionate about handling a break up, I can only imagine how passionate you were while in the relationship. Such passion scares me yet, your's is a gammet I would gladly go through for a prize as great and magnicent as the one that bleeds from your heart. Heal well and love again as you should. I shall wait and hope and if it is not to be I shall cherish the happiness that tickles my soul and welcome it ever more...