I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock.
Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile?
Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY!
A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you."
Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile?
Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY!
A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds.
When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you."
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sweetcheeks:
I think paper is more devious then that. It cuts into you over and over and over again. Until you have a million tiny paper cuts. So many cuts that you can't wash them all and then they become infected and you die. But that still doesn't explain how it wins over rock though. Now cardboard, that is something to really watch out for. Cardboard cuts are huge and painful.
kiljoy:
That's wicked... very wicked... I like it.