TIP: Don't run your errands in a tube top.
Allow me introduce you to the pleasant little area of the world known as EAST TEXAS, and share some of the pleasant experiences today I have had with several disgruntled bitches.
TIP 1: Don't wave at bicycle police.
I was at a redlight and he was turning and I nodded my head to him as he passed. Half a block later I have lights behind me seemingly flashing from nowhere and I realize it's my friendly bike cop. This is what I get for driving Larry's truck:
- Expired Registration
- Expired Inspection
- Expired Insurance
- Failure to provide state identification (I forgot it was in my pocket)
- Wearing my seatbelt under my left shoulder (so my boobs wouldn't spill out of my tube top.)
TIP 2: One bridge piercing can make or break your dinner.
So after this little escapade I went to visit Chris at work and stopped at Subway at the way home because I was famished but lacked the emotional spark that usually has me pulling into Cheddar's. After standing there, the ONLY person in sight in front of two retirement-aged women, for an amount of time over twice the normal awkward silence duration, finally FAT Old Lady asks me what I want.
FOL: What do you want.
Me: Umm.. *blink*.. A footlong italian herb & cheese melt - Bacon, Ham, and Turkey.
FOL: *GRUNT*
Me: Can you substitute chicken breast for the turkey?
FOL: *Turns away and scowls* NO. We can't do that.
Me: Doesn't it cost extra?
FOL: YES.
Me: Okay, that's fine.
(Like I didn't already know they'd charge extra, and the extra $1 would mean I wouldn't be able to afford my sandwich the way I have always gotten it since melts came into the Subway menu). I mean, where the hell does this East Texas attitude come from, anyway? It's not my fault this obese bitch is working well after her retirement age at a fast food deli!!
Start ripping into it driving down the highway and realize - It's completely fucking burnt. How the hell do you burn BREAD in a pretimed oven? Fucker.
I guess this is one of the first times I've gone out in public with Seth alone and had any of my facial jewelry in - I left my bridge in and only bothered with my lip retainers. Therefore, I was totally unprepared for just EXACTLY how these rednecked bums feel about someone who shows a little skin, has tattoos, and holes in their face.
Okay. Well I'm not even going to go any farther. This is pointless, we all know how east texas is anyway.
Allow me introduce you to the pleasant little area of the world known as EAST TEXAS, and share some of the pleasant experiences today I have had with several disgruntled bitches.
TIP 1: Don't wave at bicycle police.
I was at a redlight and he was turning and I nodded my head to him as he passed. Half a block later I have lights behind me seemingly flashing from nowhere and I realize it's my friendly bike cop. This is what I get for driving Larry's truck:
- Expired Registration
- Expired Inspection
- Expired Insurance
- Failure to provide state identification (I forgot it was in my pocket)
- Wearing my seatbelt under my left shoulder (so my boobs wouldn't spill out of my tube top.)
TIP 2: One bridge piercing can make or break your dinner.
So after this little escapade I went to visit Chris at work and stopped at Subway at the way home because I was famished but lacked the emotional spark that usually has me pulling into Cheddar's. After standing there, the ONLY person in sight in front of two retirement-aged women, for an amount of time over twice the normal awkward silence duration, finally FAT Old Lady asks me what I want.
FOL: What do you want.
Me: Umm.. *blink*.. A footlong italian herb & cheese melt - Bacon, Ham, and Turkey.
FOL: *GRUNT*
Me: Can you substitute chicken breast for the turkey?
FOL: *Turns away and scowls* NO. We can't do that.
Me: Doesn't it cost extra?
FOL: YES.
Me: Okay, that's fine.
(Like I didn't already know they'd charge extra, and the extra $1 would mean I wouldn't be able to afford my sandwich the way I have always gotten it since melts came into the Subway menu). I mean, where the hell does this East Texas attitude come from, anyway? It's not my fault this obese bitch is working well after her retirement age at a fast food deli!!
Start ripping into it driving down the highway and realize - It's completely fucking burnt. How the hell do you burn BREAD in a pretimed oven? Fucker.
I guess this is one of the first times I've gone out in public with Seth alone and had any of my facial jewelry in - I left my bridge in and only bothered with my lip retainers. Therefore, I was totally unprepared for just EXACTLY how these rednecked bums feel about someone who shows a little skin, has tattoos, and holes in their face.
Okay. Well I'm not even going to go any farther. This is pointless, we all know how east texas is anyway.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Stupid-ass Subway bitches.
but try not to let OLD! FAT! IGNORANT! BITCHY! REDNECK! (did i mention ignorant...o...okay) FUCKS! ruin your day
remember who's old fat and depressed
and who's inked, pierced and gorgeous