abashima

Do you enjoy winter science horror movies that don’t work? Then may I recommend Black Mountain Side, a film with a great premise that goes deeper than you’d expect into the archaeology of it all, which only makes it all more interesting—but then writing, budget, and particularly editing let it fall apart until you’re left waiting for all the numbers to be painted in. Good...
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Do you enjoy inappropriately titled good thrillers? Then may I recommend Knucleball, which has nothing whatever to do with baseball and everything with an isolated farm in winter. I watched it kind of at random and was pulled in despite the fact that a child is the lead (usually not much for such things). Fortunately, that it’s a child isn’t as important to the story,
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Do you enjoy beautiful, brutal, gorgeous, intense, dreamy, real, fantastic action in a well-executed movie? Then may I recommend Ballerina, which has the best cinematography, simplest touching sometimes heart-wrenching story around efficient choreography with shots that are actual art.

And also a message that, no, this is not, in fact, an overreaction. You deserve it—and more.

Do you enjoy low budget horror that competently conveys its simple story? Then may I recommend Bone Cold, which had just enough of just enough to keep my interest. There was something about it. It’s not a great movie or a hidden gem or anything like that, it’s…just enough, I guess?

Do you enjoy movies that understand you’ve been using too much of your brain to brain things? Then may I recommend Sharktopus vs Whalewolf, which, well, do I need to describe it? No I do not, because it’s just what it says on the tin. Still, it’s not bad—for it—and on the high end of low budget.

Do you enjoy big budget remakes of mediocre originals—neither of which turned out good? Then may I recommend Wages of Fear (2024), a movie about tension that lacks tension. Worse, there were no characters, only actors reading a perfunctory script. A much better (cliched) ending than original though, but that’s really not saying much.

After seeing Wages of Fear (1953), Sorcerer, and Wages of Fear...
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Do you enjoy movies that make you wait forever and ever for tension then end ridiculously terribly? Then may I recommend Wages of Fear (1953), which has an egregiously too-long first half that crawls, a tense overacted second half, but it ends with such inexplicable silliness that it practically undoes the whole movie, making the whole experience not worth the time spent.

Do you enjoy movies that don’t know what to do with themselves? Then may I recommend The Forgotten, which has an interesting premise well obscured by a thick catalog of cliches ably protecting the viewer from what could have been a good film.

Do you enjoy great action movies that put as much effort into supporting characters as the main character, so a whole entertaining story fills out? Then may I recommend Beekeeper, with great choreography and characters, good world building, and all around great work.

Do you enjoy movies that can take a subject you have negative zero interest in and still make you watch the whole film? Then may I recommend Whiplash, which is quite well written, with just enough dialogue and not a word wasted. I hate jazz and I don’t even know whether drum has one m or two—but I know this was a great film. Great...
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