Oh, just when I think it cannot get any worse,..IT CAN. and does. Unfortunately I know what it feels like to hate. I wait for the day when I wake up and I dont feel that hatred.
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Pain, sorrow, rage and onfusion in a life that felt uprooted, and I could not recognize myself.
Then I realized that the person I loved and treasured was not the one that turned out to be a traitor. As confusion settled, I realized that the capacity to betray killed what I treasured, and that the real her was the traitor, ultimately. Once that came to mind, my onw pain subsided.
Hang in there. Your non-plexiglassed heart will eventually be the very thing that will make you dizzy with happiness one day.
[Edited on Jan 04, 2006 4:45PM]