This guy, this one guy, he always comes into the market. He wears this big floppy hat, looks like a total douchebag, right? Well, one day he comes in, he says, "Hey, friend, how are the ribeyes today?" I put out my cigarette, wipe my hands on my apron, squint at him and say, "Same as yesterday, fella. You gonna buy somethin or not? I'm gettin real tired of you comin in here with that ridiculous floppy hat, asking me about meat and never buyin anything."
"Well," he says, "my wife died a while back. This used to be her hat."
"Listen, buddy," I say, "I don't care if a dog pissed on your shoe and you had to wear different socks. All I'm askin is do you want somethin or not? I got a lot of stuff to do."
"Yeah, alright, gimme a ribeye, then." So I do, right? I get this guy a real nice ribeye, I dig around, ya know, lookin for the best one. I weigh it up, tell him the price, and he leaves.
So, this guy, he doesn't come in for a few weeks. I wonder what happened to him. I mean, him and this goofy fuckin hat he wears all the time. I don't care if it was his wife's, its still ridiculous, ya know? Grown man like that, with this floppy hat. Makes me sick.
But, anyways, he doesn't come in and doesn't come in. I ask around, nobody knows where he is. I don't think nothin of it, after a while. But then, one day, this kid comes in wearin this same goofy fuckin hat. I ask him, "Hey, kid! Where'd you get a hat like that?" He says, "It was my mom's." I say, "Oh yeah? Where's your dad? He used to wear that hat." Kid says, and this ain't no bullshit, "He died. He choked on a piece of steak."
"Well," he says, "my wife died a while back. This used to be her hat."
"Listen, buddy," I say, "I don't care if a dog pissed on your shoe and you had to wear different socks. All I'm askin is do you want somethin or not? I got a lot of stuff to do."
"Yeah, alright, gimme a ribeye, then." So I do, right? I get this guy a real nice ribeye, I dig around, ya know, lookin for the best one. I weigh it up, tell him the price, and he leaves.
So, this guy, he doesn't come in for a few weeks. I wonder what happened to him. I mean, him and this goofy fuckin hat he wears all the time. I don't care if it was his wife's, its still ridiculous, ya know? Grown man like that, with this floppy hat. Makes me sick.
But, anyways, he doesn't come in and doesn't come in. I ask around, nobody knows where he is. I don't think nothin of it, after a while. But then, one day, this kid comes in wearin this same goofy fuckin hat. I ask him, "Hey, kid! Where'd you get a hat like that?" He says, "It was my mom's." I say, "Oh yeah? Where's your dad? He used to wear that hat." Kid says, and this ain't no bullshit, "He died. He choked on a piece of steak."