This is another one of those entries in which one has fuck all to say and then goes on to take up a whole page to say it, you know the one. You start off by crapping on about your weekend.
About how you had to work Saturday cuz you needed the cash and just as you were getting ready to go out with the ex that night she call's to reappoint, which comes as no surprise and is the reason you broke up with her in the first place (it's about this point your readers start to get bored and start skimming over the rest of your journal entry to get to any good bits, so that when they make a comment it looks as if they have actually read your entire entry, giving you the feeling that they give a fuck)
mmmm by now it's too late to not appear cynical to your readers, but still you go ahead and attempt a piece of comedy or funny anecdote so as not alienate your audience, like how you decide that you would like to do some home cooking, you know 'just like mum used to make' and you get out all the ingredients to make a gluten roast (the vegetarian equivalent to meat loaf) the preparation time of which is about 40 mins, you are careful and even remember to preheat the oven to 250 degrees Celsius and then put it in the oven to cook for an hour, testing it after 40 mins to make sure it is not burning only to realise that you have put it in a microwave proof dish which is now a melted plastic puddle on the floor of the fucking oven with a mound of partially cooked gluten roast on top of it.
Now just when you think things couldn't get much worse, your flat mate arrives home to find you on your knees in the kitchen desperately trying to clean up and hide any evidence of your stupidity. At this point you realise that what you had hoped would have been a bad cooking experience that could have been put aside and forgotten within days, will now be brought up every time you have a girl over and anytime you are at a function that includes 3 or more of your mates, for the rest of your unnatural life.
In fact this is just one more reason not to get married as there is just no way you could get through a reception without at least one of your mates retelling every ghastly detail with advantage's.
By now you may just have recaptured the attention of your readers only to lose them again as you try and round off with some bullshit questionnaire like:
Whats the best way to suntan the underside of your cock or get the perfect pussy shave that doesn't leave you with those little shave pimples a couple of day's later.
Or worse still ending off with some corny quote of the day or some form of lyric, poem or pop psych philosophy.
Now there's the 'seeya' with a
Then you sit back and wait for the comments to role in, so that you feel loved and wanted or at least acknowledged
mmmm fuck it, I don't think I'll bother, how is your weekend?
About how you had to work Saturday cuz you needed the cash and just as you were getting ready to go out with the ex that night she call's to reappoint, which comes as no surprise and is the reason you broke up with her in the first place (it's about this point your readers start to get bored and start skimming over the rest of your journal entry to get to any good bits, so that when they make a comment it looks as if they have actually read your entire entry, giving you the feeling that they give a fuck)
mmmm by now it's too late to not appear cynical to your readers, but still you go ahead and attempt a piece of comedy or funny anecdote so as not alienate your audience, like how you decide that you would like to do some home cooking, you know 'just like mum used to make' and you get out all the ingredients to make a gluten roast (the vegetarian equivalent to meat loaf) the preparation time of which is about 40 mins, you are careful and even remember to preheat the oven to 250 degrees Celsius and then put it in the oven to cook for an hour, testing it after 40 mins to make sure it is not burning only to realise that you have put it in a microwave proof dish which is now a melted plastic puddle on the floor of the fucking oven with a mound of partially cooked gluten roast on top of it.
Now just when you think things couldn't get much worse, your flat mate arrives home to find you on your knees in the kitchen desperately trying to clean up and hide any evidence of your stupidity. At this point you realise that what you had hoped would have been a bad cooking experience that could have been put aside and forgotten within days, will now be brought up every time you have a girl over and anytime you are at a function that includes 3 or more of your mates, for the rest of your unnatural life.
In fact this is just one more reason not to get married as there is just no way you could get through a reception without at least one of your mates retelling every ghastly detail with advantage's.
By now you may just have recaptured the attention of your readers only to lose them again as you try and round off with some bullshit questionnaire like:
Whats the best way to suntan the underside of your cock or get the perfect pussy shave that doesn't leave you with those little shave pimples a couple of day's later.
Or worse still ending off with some corny quote of the day or some form of lyric, poem or pop psych philosophy.
Now there's the 'seeya' with a
Then you sit back and wait for the comments to role in, so that you feel loved and wanted or at least acknowledged
mmmm fuck it, I don't think I'll bother, how is your weekend?
VIEW 25 of 45 COMMENTS
I'm addicted to every variety of vegeburger/vege sausage that was ever invented (except for alot of Sanatarium products because for some unfathomable reason they have fake gristle in them
I was raised a meat eater, the traditional two chops, four veg family
I am dying to get stuck into my new garden!
Ummm...thanks
No, I won't hold it against you
Perve!!