a_strange_treat

Lots of blokes think the world will end today. True, we'd probably be better off if it did, but at 7pm it looks none too promising, though it seems a bit like rain.

I share with you this anecdote:

While it is true that the proverbial collective anus of the American population is slack and agape from persistent government-backed corporate fuckings ...

While it is true that the world bleeds as genocide and the evil that is humanity spreads like a pestilence around the globe ...

there should be some things a person could just count on ... or so I believed. Read on:

Today, I was hungry. Eating on the cheap, I decided to get hot dogs. Two, for $3.00 at Franky's.

Now, the purchaser of a hot dog at this establishment is entitled to mustard, onion, relish, tomato and a pickle on each hot dog.

However, when I recieved my lunch the proprietors had merely draped ONE pickle across BOTH hot dogs. I brought this to the attention of the management, who attempted to equivocate and rationalize their crime to my very face.

"Two pickles?"

"Yes, one on each hot dog."

"That's a lot of pickles."

"It is the standard amount of pickle one recieves when ordering two hot dogs."

"You must really love pickles."

"No. I love justice."

"Well ... we gave you one pickle."

"Yes, that is what I am trying to tell you. I like a pickle on my hot dog. If I don't have one, I may not enjoy the hot dog as completely as I would have otherwise. The price I paid includes pickle-related expenses. I am entitled to both pickles."

"Just hang on a minute ..."

"Surrender the pickle at once!"

So, anyway, I got the second pickle. But the bun tasted stale and I was disappointed anyway.

I also completely embellished the story, hoping to amuse.

OH, and the publisher of my magazine said she might fire all the writers and use freelancers instead but hasn't decided yet.