Hey ...
My date yesterday went really well for the most part. We had a nice time, saw some great bands and I got to meet some of her friends.
At one point she was standing on this little riser, and she pulled me close and put my head on her shoulder and she ran her finger up and down my neck to my ear. It was so tender that tears welled up in my eyes.
But then she started to ask me questions. Perfectly normal, natural questions, just about my past. She said she wanted to know me. I had been nervous about this part since we met.
I told her that I trusted her, and I felt perfectly comfortable telling her anything and everything ... but I said, "I should tell you, my life has been pretty difficult. I don't want to sound dramatic or anything, but there has been a great deal of real tragedy. Some of my past is really intense, and I don't want to make you feel sad."
She said, "You won't make me feel sad. The bad stuff is part of what makes you who you are, and I want to know that part of you too ..."
And so I told her some things, relevant to what we were talking about, what she was asking. About my daughters, and where there mom is, and how and why I got sole custody and what happened and all that. I was really reluctant to talk about it. But I always want to be honest and upfront with people, and I didn't want to hide from her.
But as I feared, it was too much. I didn't tell it in much detail, and I did so in the gentlest of terms that I could.
She cried. I made her cry. She wasn't angry or anything, but she is very empathetic and what I told her made her very sad.
When I said goodbye I asked if I could call her tomorrow, and she said, "Well, I think I need a little time. Can I just call you when I am ready?"
So I don't know what that means, and I feel really shitty.
My date yesterday went really well for the most part. We had a nice time, saw some great bands and I got to meet some of her friends.
At one point she was standing on this little riser, and she pulled me close and put my head on her shoulder and she ran her finger up and down my neck to my ear. It was so tender that tears welled up in my eyes.
But then she started to ask me questions. Perfectly normal, natural questions, just about my past. She said she wanted to know me. I had been nervous about this part since we met.
I told her that I trusted her, and I felt perfectly comfortable telling her anything and everything ... but I said, "I should tell you, my life has been pretty difficult. I don't want to sound dramatic or anything, but there has been a great deal of real tragedy. Some of my past is really intense, and I don't want to make you feel sad."
She said, "You won't make me feel sad. The bad stuff is part of what makes you who you are, and I want to know that part of you too ..."
And so I told her some things, relevant to what we were talking about, what she was asking. About my daughters, and where there mom is, and how and why I got sole custody and what happened and all that. I was really reluctant to talk about it. But I always want to be honest and upfront with people, and I didn't want to hide from her.
But as I feared, it was too much. I didn't tell it in much detail, and I did so in the gentlest of terms that I could.
She cried. I made her cry. She wasn't angry or anything, but she is very empathetic and what I told her made her very sad.
When I said goodbye I asked if I could call her tomorrow, and she said, "Well, I think I need a little time. Can I just call you when I am ready?"
So I don't know what that means, and I feel really shitty.
and.........it IS a lot
of course she is gonna cry. i can't imagine you being with someone who wouldn't cry over that. and you did NOT make her cry, that was her reaction. don't get into any guilt stuff or i will have to kick your ass
her needing time isn't a bad sign. for one thing, it is VERY good that she knows herself well enough to know when she needs to process things. that means she doesn't just shove things down and let them pile up
i am here if you need me.......will be home all day. off and on IM all day