tears and fears
such a hard stupid wasted week.... ive been packing, which is stupid. i dont know who im kidding, i cant afford to live on my own... i dont own my car ive never paid insurance and a block of the only soy cheese i like costs five dollars... i cant live on pizza rolls like some people... i wish i could drop out of school but i would loose my health insurance not to mention the respect and support of my parents... im afraid to go off my meds, i only have a vague recolection of what im like without them and i was a sick sad individual. im afraid to be that girl again... im afaraid of alot of things.
matthew keeps saying hes runing my life because when we got together i stopped doing everything i loved. thats not really true though. i honestly dont think id still be here if not for him. i really believe hes my soulmate.... i knew when we started dating that we would be together forever... which was why i was so shocked when he broke up with me in january... i changed alot then... but then he came back and it seemed like it was all falling back into place... maybie im falling back into my old habits. i feel like if i had kept the job at the bookstore we wouldnt be in this mess and he wouldnt be all stressed out about money. but that job was literally sucking and consuming my soul. its so hard to watch something you love turn into something you hate.....
ugh, im just so pissed off right now, and i cant sleep, and i want to so badly.
such a hard stupid wasted week.... ive been packing, which is stupid. i dont know who im kidding, i cant afford to live on my own... i dont own my car ive never paid insurance and a block of the only soy cheese i like costs five dollars... i cant live on pizza rolls like some people... i wish i could drop out of school but i would loose my health insurance not to mention the respect and support of my parents... im afraid to go off my meds, i only have a vague recolection of what im like without them and i was a sick sad individual. im afraid to be that girl again... im afaraid of alot of things.
matthew keeps saying hes runing my life because when we got together i stopped doing everything i loved. thats not really true though. i honestly dont think id still be here if not for him. i really believe hes my soulmate.... i knew when we started dating that we would be together forever... which was why i was so shocked when he broke up with me in january... i changed alot then... but then he came back and it seemed like it was all falling back into place... maybie im falling back into my old habits. i feel like if i had kept the job at the bookstore we wouldnt be in this mess and he wouldnt be all stressed out about money. but that job was literally sucking and consuming my soul. its so hard to watch something you love turn into something you hate.....
ugh, im just so pissed off right now, and i cant sleep, and i want to so badly.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
lostidentity:
I would feel very weird giving you advice, being that I'm a mess myself. We don't know each other very well, but I would definitely love to talk with you some time, just about life and such 
blueskys:
Birds nest soup (made with real guano) is from China, you can buy it in Japan but it`s really rare (people like it because the birds eat seaweed which is then digested and made into the nest). In some areas people still eat grass hoppers (people started doing that in the war, I guess it`s the same weird reason people still eat SPAM). I don`t really eat the weird stuff, though I eat quite a lot of octopus, but that is really standard fare in Japan. I woudn`t go anywhere near a "Hundred Year old Egg", they bury an egg in ash underground and leave it there for ages until the white goes black and the yolk is green, very gross, but quite popular (also chinese).
