for a long time my boyfriend has been talking about starting his own business, first it was just a web design business like some of the freelance stuff he has been doing while going to school. now all of a sudden its blossomed into this huge thing that includes a few of his friends (the friends father and grandfather being possible investors and the friends having skills pertaining to the future business) and a type of business that would mean renting a space and managing people.
we were just walking the dog and i was asking him about whether or not he wanted to sign a new lease where we are living or move in august when the lease is up when he tells me that he wants to have this business started by then. all along i had thought that this was just something he liked imagining, now its happening this summer, and he has never bothered to ask me how i feel about it.
the first part that really worries me is that part of the plan is buying his mothers house and having the two friends live with us, one of which we just brought up to my parents cabin and got drunk on the last night and threw up all over the place and shouted horrible horrible things that i always thought he was joking about but now i know he means (hating blacks, hating women, etc.) I DO NOT WANT THIS PIECE OF SHIT LIVING IN MY HOUSE. on top of that two of my mothers good friends who have known each other for 30 years or more are no longer speaking because one owned a business and the others daughter worked for the business and the business went belly up. i talk to at least one person a day at my job who cant afford their mortgage because they are self employed. having these two friends families invest in the business worries me too.
i pointed all these things out to him and he just said i don't support him and why do i have to have a say in what he does for his career. he even tried to use my parents as an example (as in I'm sure your mom didn't tell your dad to go into real estate) and i know for a fact that my father pointed out to my mother that north west was hiring and she has been a flight attendant ever since. that's the part that really gets to me though, that he didn't ask me about any of this and he doesn't see how it will affect my life. he thinks I'm just trying to shit on his dreams but I'm not, it just doesn't seem that I'm part of the equation and that hurts.
something that i didn't even bring up was the fact that i told him before that i want to get married before we buy a house. and now we are buying a house in a few months? that means there is no way in hell I'm getting the wedding i want... he hasn't even bought me an engagement ring yet.
part of the discussion was also him telling me Ive made things complicated by offering to let one of my brothers friends live with us if we buy his moms house because the kids mom is a dead beat and i want the kid to have a place to stay so he can FINNISH HIGHSCHOOL.
I'm rambling, i know, I'm just at a loss. this came out of the blue, just before our walk he was talking about applying for a job that would pay him around 80,000 a year...
am i wrong? should i be supporting him fully even though i feel like this is such a bad idea? am i just being a baby? am i being a bitch?
kudos if you bothered to read all this...
we were just walking the dog and i was asking him about whether or not he wanted to sign a new lease where we are living or move in august when the lease is up when he tells me that he wants to have this business started by then. all along i had thought that this was just something he liked imagining, now its happening this summer, and he has never bothered to ask me how i feel about it.
the first part that really worries me is that part of the plan is buying his mothers house and having the two friends live with us, one of which we just brought up to my parents cabin and got drunk on the last night and threw up all over the place and shouted horrible horrible things that i always thought he was joking about but now i know he means (hating blacks, hating women, etc.) I DO NOT WANT THIS PIECE OF SHIT LIVING IN MY HOUSE. on top of that two of my mothers good friends who have known each other for 30 years or more are no longer speaking because one owned a business and the others daughter worked for the business and the business went belly up. i talk to at least one person a day at my job who cant afford their mortgage because they are self employed. having these two friends families invest in the business worries me too.
i pointed all these things out to him and he just said i don't support him and why do i have to have a say in what he does for his career. he even tried to use my parents as an example (as in I'm sure your mom didn't tell your dad to go into real estate) and i know for a fact that my father pointed out to my mother that north west was hiring and she has been a flight attendant ever since. that's the part that really gets to me though, that he didn't ask me about any of this and he doesn't see how it will affect my life. he thinks I'm just trying to shit on his dreams but I'm not, it just doesn't seem that I'm part of the equation and that hurts.
something that i didn't even bring up was the fact that i told him before that i want to get married before we buy a house. and now we are buying a house in a few months? that means there is no way in hell I'm getting the wedding i want... he hasn't even bought me an engagement ring yet.
part of the discussion was also him telling me Ive made things complicated by offering to let one of my brothers friends live with us if we buy his moms house because the kids mom is a dead beat and i want the kid to have a place to stay so he can FINNISH HIGHSCHOOL.
I'm rambling, i know, I'm just at a loss. this came out of the blue, just before our walk he was talking about applying for a job that would pay him around 80,000 a year...
am i wrong? should i be supporting him fully even though i feel like this is such a bad idea? am i just being a baby? am i being a bitch?
kudos if you bothered to read all this...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
strangekitty:
yeah, really, talk to him, let him know you support him in general but he needs to think about the whole picture... jumping into the things he wants to do (buisiness, house) need to be planned out a lot, and he needs to realize it's affecting not just him, but you especially, and the other people involved.
masaba:
You definitely need to tell him how you feel. I don't think that you are trying to ruin everything that he has planned...I would just address certain key things, like marraige before moving into the house, the loser that is going to live with you....I hope things turn out well....Oh, and in my opinion, the guy isn't very thoughtful, because all of these decisions will affect BOTH of you in the longrun.