_stella_

Okay so it's been a while since my last entry and a lot has happened...Sit back and indulge!!

So first of all, the computer got moved into my room and we got a different ISP so that's good news. It means more entries and hopefuly a set soon. Plus, I started my senior year on the 15th. It's nothing to hoot and holler about. I only go half a day so they are short days. It's cool I gues...I just can't wait to get out!!
So, the love of my life Michael Patrick Murtagh who I thought was gone forever is once again mine to love. We got back together on Sunday night. We ended up spending four hours together just talking and shit. It was awesome and I was really happy. BUT!! (There's always a but with me!!) There are some problems. I have come to the conclusion thatr he has changed a lot. I don't really know if it's a bad thing but it's proving difficult for me to adapt. I know it's only been like three days, but still...I feel it. Plus...I have really really strong feelings for my friend Derek. Derek and I go way back and we've been fucking around for a while now. He and I have this really odd relationship but I love it!! So last night I go to see Derek at work cuz he works at the main store. Long story short, he ends up pouring his heart out to me and tells me everything that he shoulda said a while ago so now Im stuck in this weird limbo where I dunno what to do. I have to make a choice between someone who I once thought I could marry and someone who I see major possibility of greatness with. I HATE THIS SO MUCH!!! I truly don't know what to do. In the meantime I am sitting here with a picture of both the boys next to me and I don't have a clue what to do. Dammit Dammit Dammit. This sucks. Anybody wanna put their two cents in?.....