So Its tuesday do you know where your socks are?
I do..
Im going to talk about A vibrator named "Frank" today. I dont feel like bitching about work, or the snag on my heel or the fact that I still have a hole in the toe of me. I just want to talk about Frank.
He shares the same drawer as me and my sock friends.And they dont seem to mind so eh fuck it I hope you dont mind either..
I have a 8 inch pink vibrator as a roomate. Its stored in a sock thats green with black monkeys on it. The other monkey sock got eaten in a dryer mishap of 2001 so rather than death to socky he got a job.
Now I must tell you how I came to be the roomate of Frank.
One fine day about a year ago around this time I was put into a pair of tennis shoes and off we went to the adult store looking for a toy. No other reason than pure sexual gratification. Alot of my "bodies" friends kinda stumbled into owning a vibrator but my "body" actually went in going you know what... I need one of those and well there we were... So we are in the store looking at all the different items and get to the toy aisle. All shapes, sizes and colors imaginable. But hmmm which one is right for me.. Its not like a car where you can test drive the sucker before buying, or like Baskin Robbins where they offer a sample tasting to see if you wanna getta scoop..Nope its all visual extacy. So we continue looking an checking out the sizes... get to one and think hmmm that reminds me of "insert last bf's name here" and than start thinking about said bf and decide that is not the size for me. I go to the next one up.. Hmm again another bf comes to mind and again thats not the one for me either... Than we see Frank. Hes all alone on the shelf just sitting there looking anxious. All I can say is OOOOOhhh yeah 8 inches of hot love stick...I didnt realy think that but doesnt that sound better than oHHH YEAH im single and this is my date tonight!!!!. Wo0T!! Anyways off we go to the counter and its like everyone in the store found thier items exactly at the same time so now theres a line...Well guess what.. They gotta put batteries in these babies and give um a run before you buy.. So the clerk puts the battery in it turns the bottom and vroom vroom off goes Frank... He than sits Frank down on the counter as hes typing in the upc code and whatever else code come with these babies. Meanwhile my Vibrator of Doom is halfway accross the counter and about to fall off.. What is proper ediquette in these situations? Can I touch it? Should I stop it? Do I act like I dont notice? Oh no.. nononono What would Miss Manners do at a time like this? I go to stop the critter before it commits suicide off the counter and yeah..I stopped it.. And yeah everyone behind me was watching me tackle the vibrator like it was a caged animal on the loose. I even smiled as Im holding it taking my victory walk back to the counter like im Miss Vibrator USA... GO ME!!!! The only thing missing were tears and my pagent wave. So anyways I paid for Frank seeing as he had the horsepower of a v8 engine burning inside him and went to walk out and on the way out they had this 9ft blowup picture of some porno named "Frank IN Stein" and the star looked so cute dressed up like Boris Korloft with a 3ft penis laying down his leg..
So um yeah my pink v8 Vibrator of Doom became known as Frank.
This story really doesnt have an ending. Frank is still resting peacefully beside me in our drawer.
He still has all the passion of a V8 fully loaded SUV with all the extras a girl could want.And he still gets love every week, at least a couple of times. And he still keeps warm in my monkey sock friend.
The end.
Please Sock responsibly.
I do..
Im going to talk about A vibrator named "Frank" today. I dont feel like bitching about work, or the snag on my heel or the fact that I still have a hole in the toe of me. I just want to talk about Frank.
He shares the same drawer as me and my sock friends.And they dont seem to mind so eh fuck it I hope you dont mind either..
I have a 8 inch pink vibrator as a roomate. Its stored in a sock thats green with black monkeys on it. The other monkey sock got eaten in a dryer mishap of 2001 so rather than death to socky he got a job.
Now I must tell you how I came to be the roomate of Frank.
One fine day about a year ago around this time I was put into a pair of tennis shoes and off we went to the adult store looking for a toy. No other reason than pure sexual gratification. Alot of my "bodies" friends kinda stumbled into owning a vibrator but my "body" actually went in going you know what... I need one of those and well there we were... So we are in the store looking at all the different items and get to the toy aisle. All shapes, sizes and colors imaginable. But hmmm which one is right for me.. Its not like a car where you can test drive the sucker before buying, or like Baskin Robbins where they offer a sample tasting to see if you wanna getta scoop..Nope its all visual extacy. So we continue looking an checking out the sizes... get to one and think hmmm that reminds me of "insert last bf's name here" and than start thinking about said bf and decide that is not the size for me. I go to the next one up.. Hmm again another bf comes to mind and again thats not the one for me either... Than we see Frank. Hes all alone on the shelf just sitting there looking anxious. All I can say is OOOOOhhh yeah 8 inches of hot love stick...I didnt realy think that but doesnt that sound better than oHHH YEAH im single and this is my date tonight!!!!. Wo0T!! Anyways off we go to the counter and its like everyone in the store found thier items exactly at the same time so now theres a line...Well guess what.. They gotta put batteries in these babies and give um a run before you buy.. So the clerk puts the battery in it turns the bottom and vroom vroom off goes Frank... He than sits Frank down on the counter as hes typing in the upc code and whatever else code come with these babies. Meanwhile my Vibrator of Doom is halfway accross the counter and about to fall off.. What is proper ediquette in these situations? Can I touch it? Should I stop it? Do I act like I dont notice? Oh no.. nononono What would Miss Manners do at a time like this? I go to stop the critter before it commits suicide off the counter and yeah..I stopped it.. And yeah everyone behind me was watching me tackle the vibrator like it was a caged animal on the loose. I even smiled as Im holding it taking my victory walk back to the counter like im Miss Vibrator USA... GO ME!!!! The only thing missing were tears and my pagent wave. So anyways I paid for Frank seeing as he had the horsepower of a v8 engine burning inside him and went to walk out and on the way out they had this 9ft blowup picture of some porno named "Frank IN Stein" and the star looked so cute dressed up like Boris Korloft with a 3ft penis laying down his leg..
So um yeah my pink v8 Vibrator of Doom became known as Frank.
This story really doesnt have an ending. Frank is still resting peacefully beside me in our drawer.
He still has all the passion of a V8 fully loaded SUV with all the extras a girl could want.And he still gets love every week, at least a couple of times. And he still keeps warm in my monkey sock friend.
The end.
Please Sock responsibly.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
my weekend was indeed sockalicious!
i'm overcome with a desire to say something funny, because if i said anything serious it would ironically look funny anyway, it can't be done.
however, nothing i can say would be in any way funnier than anything relating to _sock_ or the life of _sock_ or the general presence of _sock_.
But know the intention is there!
=)