In just 16 hours, my set goes into MR!!!! So, if you have any critiques, please let me know over on the hopefuls board, under _Porkchop_ -- Starry.
Tonight, while busking, an adorable little tike tipped me with a Pez dispenser. Then, her little sister dropped a few Pez refills in my case. Thoughtful. But last time I checked, PEZ IS NOT AMERICAN CURRENCY YOU LITTLE FUCKERS. But in the last year and a half that I've been a subway musician, I've received a number of non-monetary donations that deserve a little tribute in something I like to call:
"Non-Monetary Donations That Deserve a Little Tribute" (Top 5)
5. A Meteorite
(stock photo)
A young Asian man dropped this in my case early this year. He said it was "a meteorite...from Tibet". Funny, I always thought they were from outer space. But endearing all the same. Definitely odd.
4. A Goldfish in a Bag
(stock photo)
Also earlier this year. I was busking on the uptown F platform which I'm not a fan of (I refer to it as Skid Row). A group of mischievous teenagers walked by, then one came back, and was like "hey, here's a fish". I didn't want to be responsible for the life of this animal (I can barely remember to feed myself), so I yelled at him till he took it back. Sheesh, what a haddock!
3. Sparklers!
(inappropriate stock photo)
I got these from a girl around Memorial Day. Unfortunately, by the time 4th of July rolled around, I had completely forgotten about them. I'm sure the MTA and NYPD would have looooved it if I incorporated them into my subway act.
2. An Unintentionally Terrifying Note
(actual item)
A little backstory is necessary here: I got this "tip" in the first month or 2 that I started busking. A few months before, I had been talking to a bass player about how I was thinking of busking. He told me that he used to busk with a jazz guitarist, and do only his original douchy jazz tunes. The bass player tried to convince him that people really wanted to hear covers, and maybe they should play what the people wanted. The guitarist wasn't having it though. So one day, they are busking in Tompkins Square Park, and a goth girl walks over, scrilbbles a quick note, and drops it in the tip jar with a huge smile. After she walks away, they excitedly unfold the note. Written on it was "You should just kill yourselves now"
Naturally, this story made me hesitant to try street performance, and it's what I thought of when I saw a guy drop that note in my case, wrapped in a dollar bill such as it was. With shaking hands I picked it up, and moved aside the dollar bill, only to find:
Whew! He was just a photographer! Nothing scary there!
1. A $100 Bill
*no photo available*
What can I say, the best tip is still money! This guy, a few months ago, asked me when the last train had gone by. Usually, I become Accordion Bitch when people ask me dumb questions on the platform. But that day I was feeling magnanimous, and so I told him it had been a few minutes, but that they were running pretty regularly. He thanked me, I played for 2 minutes, the train came, and he walked over and produced a wad of Benjamins from his pocket. He peeled off one, handed it to me with a "Thanks for your help!", and like a banshee jumped on the train and disappeared. Wow!
Moral of the story: You can't pay the rent with goldfish and meteorites, but they do make for amusing anecdotes.
(If you enjoy these tales of the Bellows Below [hilarious? right? eh, still needs some tweaking], then please take a minute tomorrow and vote for me!)
--_Porkchop_
Tonight, while busking, an adorable little tike tipped me with a Pez dispenser. Then, her little sister dropped a few Pez refills in my case. Thoughtful. But last time I checked, PEZ IS NOT AMERICAN CURRENCY YOU LITTLE FUCKERS. But in the last year and a half that I've been a subway musician, I've received a number of non-monetary donations that deserve a little tribute in something I like to call:
"Non-Monetary Donations That Deserve a Little Tribute" (Top 5)
5. A Meteorite
(stock photo)
A young Asian man dropped this in my case early this year. He said it was "a meteorite...from Tibet". Funny, I always thought they were from outer space. But endearing all the same. Definitely odd.
4. A Goldfish in a Bag
(stock photo)
Also earlier this year. I was busking on the uptown F platform which I'm not a fan of (I refer to it as Skid Row). A group of mischievous teenagers walked by, then one came back, and was like "hey, here's a fish". I didn't want to be responsible for the life of this animal (I can barely remember to feed myself), so I yelled at him till he took it back. Sheesh, what a haddock!
3. Sparklers!
(inappropriate stock photo)
I got these from a girl around Memorial Day. Unfortunately, by the time 4th of July rolled around, I had completely forgotten about them. I'm sure the MTA and NYPD would have looooved it if I incorporated them into my subway act.
2. An Unintentionally Terrifying Note
(actual item)
A little backstory is necessary here: I got this "tip" in the first month or 2 that I started busking. A few months before, I had been talking to a bass player about how I was thinking of busking. He told me that he used to busk with a jazz guitarist, and do only his original douchy jazz tunes. The bass player tried to convince him that people really wanted to hear covers, and maybe they should play what the people wanted. The guitarist wasn't having it though. So one day, they are busking in Tompkins Square Park, and a goth girl walks over, scrilbbles a quick note, and drops it in the tip jar with a huge smile. After she walks away, they excitedly unfold the note. Written on it was "You should just kill yourselves now"
Naturally, this story made me hesitant to try street performance, and it's what I thought of when I saw a guy drop that note in my case, wrapped in a dollar bill such as it was. With shaking hands I picked it up, and moved aside the dollar bill, only to find:
Whew! He was just a photographer! Nothing scary there!
1. A $100 Bill
*no photo available*
What can I say, the best tip is still money! This guy, a few months ago, asked me when the last train had gone by. Usually, I become Accordion Bitch when people ask me dumb questions on the platform. But that day I was feeling magnanimous, and so I told him it had been a few minutes, but that they were running pretty regularly. He thanked me, I played for 2 minutes, the train came, and he walked over and produced a wad of Benjamins from his pocket. He peeled off one, handed it to me with a "Thanks for your help!", and like a banshee jumped on the train and disappeared. Wow!
Moral of the story: You can't pay the rent with goldfish and meteorites, but they do make for amusing anecdotes.
(If you enjoy these tales of the Bellows Below [hilarious? right? eh, still needs some tweaking], then please take a minute tomorrow and vote for me!)
--_Porkchop_
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Midway through the journey of our life, I found
myself in a dark wood, for I had strayed
from the straight pathway to this tangled ground.
Dreams, sleep, and love.