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Hello one and all.

I think I just had my first panic attack in a long time.

I had one of the best days in ages today. Just at work, but it was unrelentingly good. I made so much progress with my editing project, and then on perfect cue, somehow it decides to completely wipe the project. I was all along in the studio because everyone had gone home, and I just feel a horrible sickening dread. I phone up the producers but they couldn't help til the morning so all the said was go catch my last train home and we'll sort it out then. I proceeded to do that. But all I could think about was "Oh my god, I've let them down so badly". The release of the DVD relies on me completing the documentary. We're releasing it in time for Christmas. I have a week and a half to do it again. I'm fucked. I've been working on this for weeks and it was going to be a squeeze to complete it for the deadline for ages. I don't know what to say that can make it better, there's just nothing good that can come of it. They said all might not be lost, but honestly I doubt it, it looked rogered. So anyway I ran off and went to get my train but it was an hour late and I had to wait on the cold platform which didn't help my failing mood. I shook like a madman all the way home then promptly threw up when I got back.

I wouldn't have minded if it would have made it all better! I haven't been in a situation like this in a long time, where something is irrevocably not good. And literally nothing can change it. And I don't know what to do!!

I must say that meditating for an hour to tibetan buddhist chanting on repeat does the trick of clearing your head but then singing along to "The Wall" has a way of bringing your spirit back down to Earth...

Anyway I wanted to get that out of the way.

The film is screening at the Brighton Film School tomorrow so I get to go back to my old haunt with some level of success, so that'll be good.

Also highlight of the week, I saw Martin Grech live last Thursday, it was such a great night!! That's all I can say on it really. It wasn't the sort of adrenaline-pumping gig that gets you spilling out a babble of adjectives, I think it was better. May in fact have to travel back up to the capital for his other performance in December.

Finding myself unable to be unthusiastic but I'll chuck this out there for a couple of days because my last one is getting boring. I'll try and update soon again. Sorry for having no pictures, and especially no picture of me hiding! I was going to do one hiding behind the tree we have in our office, but I ran away from there in a bit of a rush tonight. Next time!


Love and Peace
=)
xxxx