Monday Jul 12, 2010

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Okay, so previously I blogged about getting a phone call from a ex, that I hadn't spoken to in about 7 years and hadn't seen since college about 12 years ago or so. It's a long involved story, the relationship didn't end well. Mainly, had her leaving me for someone else she had been seeing on the side.

Anyways, she tracked down my number and called me the other day. And it was a decent phone, I'm way past any hard feelings that I might have had and generally hope that she is happy and content with her life. She told me she was married now with two little ones, and I happy for her, knowing that she didn't think she would get married or have kids, it was nice to know that she was in a place where she was happy.

So, today I get an email from her, saying that talking to me has brought up old feelings and she is wishing things were different. That she put up a front and isn't really happy and "has an itch"..lol.

Now, by no means would I ever be the "other" individual to break up or get involved with a married couple. But, it seems to be the running theme with me..that women that I have dated..who dump me or move on to "better" guys..track me down later..and want to kindle a relationship. I politely wrote her back..and thanked her for the compliments, and said that I would be a friend..but not a reason to get out of a bad relationship or anything. That it sounds like the last thing she needs is a lover..and maybe she could use this time to seek help or workout whatever is going on in her life.

But, I wonder..is it..just realizing what you have now isn't so hot..that makes someone want to go back to something that was at least "comfortable". I would say great..but if it was so fantastic..then they wouldn't have left in the first place. Or is it..a instance of realizing what you had and threw away. Now this has happened maybe three times, but it does really screw with your head.

I'm not looking for normal...but stable would be a plus. It sucks sometimes being the last choice in someones life.
soloh:
Good for you man, don't get caught up in other people's problems. It doesn't matter how this or that or whatever she see as "better" a man is, when a woman doesn't feel loved she's going to look for it somewhere else, that's just in our nature. A lot of people are confused about what makes a good or "better" partner, end up justifying some whimsy raging hormones and regretting their decisions. Human nature is not an honest thing and it could care less about our happiness, it always drives all of us to move on until our sex drive dissipates because it's only goal is to continue the human race. It doesn't care about healthy relationships, family values or anything that holds our society together and makes better.
That doesn't mean you are her or any of the other womens' last choice, all that says about you is that you were good to them and made them feel loved and secure like a good man should and that's exactly what they're craving now.
What really bothers me (in general, don't really know enough to say it applies to the women here) is how unaware a lot of people are of themselves and the human race in general, most people go around reacting to things and never questioning why, never getting to the heart of their real problems and never gaining enough understanding to make good decisions in their lives. Nobody's perfect, everybody makes mistakes but it seems the too many people never seek knowledge to improve their lives.
sorry about the long ass rant, just sharing my perspective smile

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