_ghost

Life has never been so hard.
I am so confused.

last night i played the subways album, and cried my little heart out. every single song reminded me of fletcher, a few of the songs he had put on various mix cassettes throughtout the earlier stages of our relationship, and it just brought all the memories flooding back.
it didnt help me to then go on and look through all our old photo albums. hundreds of photos of the past 2 years.

i loved him so much. For those of you who dont know, he left me when i confessed to kissing another man. How could i have done something like that? we were having problems, but it could have all been fixed with time, but instead i do the worst thing possible to set in concrete our break-up.

Now I am dating the other man, and he's wonderful, he loves me, he adores me, we have so much fun laughing and playing together.

But i am still in love with fletcher. How can i be in love with 2 incredble men at the same time? and how do i know if i am making the right decision. I have already hurt fletch, and i dont want to hurt stevie now.

but i am so confused, i think deep down in my heart i know that fletcher is the one. But i am scared of losing steve, what if i try to work it out with fletch and it just isnt the same anymore? and i know it wont be, he has alot of pain, hurt and mistrust towards me.

Nothing has ever hurt so much.

When i am with stevie i am so happy and so in love, but as soon as i am alone fletcher is the only thing i think about and it hurts so much inside.

i dont know how to make the pain stop.

Fletch

Stevie