_ghost

sometimes i feel like fletcher is the only friend i have in the world. he likes me all of the time. he would never ignore me because he was depressed or in a bad mood. he wants to be around me and do things with me, and is always considerate of the way i feel.

i do so much for my friends and housemates without any thanks. i am so sick of living with other people. if i dont buy toilet paper and laundry powder, milk, etc etc etc we'd be without it for days on end before anybody bought some, if i dont clean up the glasses and bottle caps and empty the ashtrays and put away the matresses from their friends staying over, nobody would. i dont want to live in a pig sty, but i dont want to have to keep cleaning up and providing for everyone.

im sick of having a best friend who i can no longer work out whether they like me or hate me from one day to the next. one day we will be laughing and talking and the next she will ignore me. and we've been best friends for 8 years.

i need to learn how to shut myself off to others. not care how others are feeling, not let how they feel or act affect me.

i want to live for me.