I need to stop evaluating my life and just learn to move the fuck forward and on. Either that or just give up and end things.
My problem is my lack of patience. With anything. I want things and I want them now. I want to change things and change people and I want it now and thats not how things work. I want to be so much more than I am now. But I WANT IT NOW, which is the problem. I want instant gratification. I want acceptance. I want love. I want to BE loved. I want to love someone. When will that all happen? Why hasn't it happened already?
Someday's I could care less. Others, I get into this emotional black hole like right now and I want to crawl away into a dark hole and never come out. Tonight, I just cried without even being provoked. Am I that much of a pussy?
I just hate that when people try to help, they give up so easily. Yes, I put up a lot of walls. But if you show a kind heart that can be trusted, they melt away easily.
Ok, enough of my random psychobabble.
My problem is my lack of patience. With anything. I want things and I want them now. I want to change things and change people and I want it now and thats not how things work. I want to be so much more than I am now. But I WANT IT NOW, which is the problem. I want instant gratification. I want acceptance. I want love. I want to BE loved. I want to love someone. When will that all happen? Why hasn't it happened already?
Someday's I could care less. Others, I get into this emotional black hole like right now and I want to crawl away into a dark hole and never come out. Tonight, I just cried without even being provoked. Am I that much of a pussy?
I just hate that when people try to help, they give up so easily. Yes, I put up a lot of walls. But if you show a kind heart that can be trusted, they melt away easily.
Ok, enough of my random psychobabble.
psychobabble is the kinda suckee one near my place now, hrmmmm
anyway
i'm right there with ya bud
i just ran outta tears when i was a little kid
i wish i could cry
i'm an emotionless lump that knows when to preform the smiles n frowns because it makes life easier
people don't wanna hear the answers to their questions of how ya doin, etc
bleh
im a hate'er lately
i just hide it
see ya in the shadows
=|