I've a tendancy to live vicariously through film, especially children's film. I'm consistantly disappointed by the failure of the world to adhere to my considerable standards of cleanliness and drama. Real, breathing people are pale reflections of characters, frequently posessing, not more, but less in the way of character or complexity.
I keep expecting to meet the woman of my dreams, really a quite preposterous idea. I tried it once, and look where that got me. There will be no more swept-off-my-feet, I fear.
Today I am watching Kiki's Delivery Service. It is exemplary of everything I desire from my life. Today, I want to be Kiki. I want to live in such a simple world, I want to have had such a regular childhood (though Kiki's childhood might be decidedly bizzare, mine was even more so).
If you know the film, I should tell you I speak of Minami Takayami's version of Kiki. I cannot quite identify with Kirsten Dunst's character.
When I was very young, before I had reached the age of ten, I wanted to marry Caroll's Alice.
I am an Author. I have, as of yet, no fame.
I've been up for two days straight, writing and rewriting an essay so damnably stupid I'm finding myself dishonored to even have it in my course. I stagger into the classrom, pretending I am in no way exhausted whilst offering my painfully elegant and determindely arrogant shell to those I am forced to study with.
I'm consistantly amazed at the decided hatred my classmates hold for any form of work. I finished the paper in an hour, complete to my satisfaction and far beyond the word limit. I was the first one out, beating even those imbeciles who've done nothing, and leave half way through.
The above quote is how I opened my paper, supposedly about my plans for my future career. It's a pun on the opening of a famous Japanese Literary Classic, ("I am a Cat", by Natsume Souseki) which opens with it's Narrator declaring "I am a Cat. I have, as of yet, no Name". There's other, more subtle nuances in the pun, to my considerable pride it works in both Languages. I think I shall keep it; it is my first intellectually polyglossal pun in Japanese.
You should have seen me. I was beaming.
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written
Oscar Wilde there, if you care. I've been playing with sex in my writing, trying to find interesting ways of using it. Sex for it's own sake is a little boring, to be fair.
I've reached the conclusion that most modern erotica is nothing more than Masturbation with Subtitles, and if you'd like to quote me on that I'd be honored. Written onehandedly, as ones mind jerks back and forth between what will no doubt be called a hot pumping rod and what will be described comparable as a pink puckered asshole, or a dripping wet pussy.
Boring! Entirely Fucking Worthless.
I grew up thinking sex was surely the least interesting thing in the world. Pornography is dull and uninspired, replacable woman summoning their best melodrama beneath frequently anonymous men. Written erotica so often substitutes vulgarity and obscenity for, well, everything.
Your name will go down in history as one of my first fans, and you can tell everyone that you knew me before I was Socrates.
