We cling to our names because we think they emphasis our seperateness and compelteness and importance, but deep down we know that we are neither seperate, nor complete, nor very important, nor are we terribly happy.
~Janet Frame
Novel Nomenclature
Aging, and the Matter of My Pleasantly Impending Doom
My birthday had always been a subject of derision and fear. It marks the inexorable passing of time, the progression of myself through age to death, and the dichotomy of a day that is supposedly meant to be all about me but all too frequently leaves me bitter and miserable. Last year's disaster, in particular, had me ready to desist with aging entirely.
But this year, I was determined that it would be different. I am, for the first time in my life, beholden to no-one. I need keep company solely with the troublemakers of my preference. I am in a position to bake a cherry cake at three in the morning if such a thing takes my fancy (it did). So I decided that the day would be a quiet celebration of me
What I didn't realise was quite how many others had decided the same thing. All these amazingly beautiful people came out of the shadows and offered me their love, their company and their surpise visits. The indelible Arkem bought me any number of pretty things, many of which were of the less than corporeal variety. I shared lunch with my mother, who I haven't seen for many, many months, and with my best friend, the late great Naozumi. Mademoiselle WolfLullaby game me a badge bearing my heavilly photoshopped eye, and a promise of later badges bearing SuicideThemes.
Everyone made such an enormous fuss over me, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. It was fantastic, it was inspiring, it was posessed of a blood alchohol content far higher than 0.05, and it left me well and truly breathless swimming in a cloud of amazing affection.
And that, to be fair, is the real point of birthdays. They're not for you, they're for those who love you. Your birthday is a chance for all your lovers to come out of the woodwork and adore you without fear of reprimand. It's an opportunity to have a fuss made over you without any guilt. It's a chance to let the people around you make sure you know your worth.
They Seek Him Here, They Seek Him There
In more literary news, I've been watching The Scarlet Pimpernel. The dialogue is amazing every time Percy speaks I find myself melting into the carpet. For a quick path to my heart, one should assume the manner of an english lord sprung from the propaganda borne pen of the Baroness Orczy.
Those of you who wish to condemn my misuse of literary might find themselves run through, or facing Madam Guillotine.
I still think of you as Amaranth.
i'm very pleased that yours was a good one, perhaps you will be converted yet..