Thoughts? I am having a really hard time accepting this as something to be considered attractive. Am I wrong here?
In all actuality, there are days when I look in the mirror and I think I am gorgeous. Then, there are days when I see myself, and I honestly just start to cry. The world around me tells me I need to be thin. I need to diet. I need to exercise. Then, only then, when I have achieved all of these things, when I have molded myself to look like everyone else, will I be beautiful. The thing is, I do work out. I do eat fairly healthy. Yes I snack, but who doesn't?! My body does not change. I have looked the same for nearly 10 years now. Why must I keep fighting myself?
Honestly, it breaks my heart. I am sweet and caring, funny, smart, and I can make anyone smile and lift their spirits. (Except for Yuriel. Fuck that guy!) I would give all of myself to help someone else. This should all be taken in to account as far as who is considered beautiful. Who is to be idolized and looked upon when influencing others.
When I look at the world around me, all I see is thin. The media and society, as well as my past childhood experiences, are screaming for me to be someone and something my body just simply does not agree with. Why can't I look like these tall, slender and beautiful women? Well.. because I am not them.
My friends have been very kind and patient in dealing with me and my lack of self esteem lately. I owe them so much for tolerating my constant self hate rants.
So I am asking, one last time. Is this beautiful? Is there truly more than one variation of beauty?
In all actuality, there are days when I look in the mirror and I think I am gorgeous. Then, there are days when I see myself, and I honestly just start to cry. The world around me tells me I need to be thin. I need to diet. I need to exercise. Then, only then, when I have achieved all of these things, when I have molded myself to look like everyone else, will I be beautiful. The thing is, I do work out. I do eat fairly healthy. Yes I snack, but who doesn't?! My body does not change. I have looked the same for nearly 10 years now. Why must I keep fighting myself?
Honestly, it breaks my heart. I am sweet and caring, funny, smart, and I can make anyone smile and lift their spirits. (Except for Yuriel. Fuck that guy!) I would give all of myself to help someone else. This should all be taken in to account as far as who is considered beautiful. Who is to be idolized and looked upon when influencing others.
When I look at the world around me, all I see is thin. The media and society, as well as my past childhood experiences, are screaming for me to be someone and something my body just simply does not agree with. Why can't I look like these tall, slender and beautiful women? Well.. because I am not them.
My friends have been very kind and patient in dealing with me and my lack of self esteem lately. I owe them so much for tolerating my constant self hate rants.
So I am asking, one last time. Is this beautiful? Is there truly more than one variation of beauty?
VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
idgas:
Maine. The original Portland.
ollyp:
You are breathtakingly gorgeous!