_chris_

So I'm awake today much, much earlier than I usually am. Yesterday and the night before, I forced myself to stay awake for no apparent reason, then, realizing that I needed to send bills off in the mail (next-day delivery...), I went to the post office to do so, to proceed with actual errands and such. Having nothing better to do, I went up to work afterwards and got something to drink, hung out and chilled with people I know, and basically talked about and did nothing in particular. Afterwards, I came home and passed out.

Lesson learned that may be of use to you, but most likely not... Staying awake for prolonged periods of time + contact lenses + moving extremely dusty furniture = eye infection. It's interesting to see just how many people, even complete strangers, have no difficulty walking up to me and inquiring as to why one of my eyes is pink as fuck, while the other is relatively normal. I didn't even notice it, until someone pointed it out to me. Hmmph. Ah well.

Imagine someone getting weed smoke shotgunned into their face for maybe, I don't know... Seven hours or so? You get the point, I'm sure. That's how my left eye looks and feels. I have to be at work at 3:30. Fucking lovely.

I was just sipping coffee out of someone's festive-looking easter-egg mug on the front porch, smoking cigarettes, and while I was completely in the shade, the sun was shining through the slats in the porch, warming my feet. That kinda made me wonder why I wouldn't think to stand in the sun, like most people. Why not let the sun completely wash over me, let it just bathe me in its shining warmth? It seems like such a waste, thinking about how far those rays of visible-spectrum radiation had to travel just to get to me and my pre-rolled, convenience-store-purchased, filtered cigarettes. Letting this idea roll about in my head for a few minutes, I decided to stay in the shade. I like it better there for some reason. The occasional bit of sunshine is nice, but it feels strange and foreign to me for some reason. Even when I go to the beach, I prefer to get in the water and swim around and not feel the warmth much. The whole let-the-sun-shine-and-do-its-thing way of going about things just seems silly to me. It's like filling the bathtub up all the way to the brim, filling it with soapy bubbles and such (preferably Mr. Bubble - I haven't taken a bath in years, I normally shower, but still... Mr. Bubble is the shit.), jumping in, and afterwards, wondering why all the water keeps spilling over the edge. I just don't see the point. Maybe it's just me being cynical. Who knows.

I just finished reading "The Passion" by Jeanette Winterson. I have no idea as to what to start reading now because I'm sure that, whatever it is that I decide upon, won't be nearly as good as "The Passion". Books like those only come around so often, completely by chance, and leave you pleasantly surprised and... Exhilirated? Is that the word I'm looking for? I don't even know. It's damn good though. If you haven't read it, you should.

So, at some point in the next few hours, I will be taking a shower and getting ready to go to work. I look forward to my shift this evening with a weird mixture or fear/loathing and happiness/anticipation, yet have no idea why. I can make people lattes and frappucinos and whatnot, and then stare them directly in the eye and wordlessly pass along as much holiday cheer, goodwill, and i-wish-you-would-go-away-ness that I can muster, from my ridiculously bloodshot left eyeball.

Hope you're all doing well this lovely Thursday afternoon, or evening... Whatever time it may be wherever you are...

Here's a smiley for you...

-Chris-

[edited to add]

Was supposed to be at work at 3:30. Car wouldn't start. Cell phone wouldn't work. Had to use the phone of my neighbor across the street. I called a taxi and they said they'd be here in 15 minutes. That was 45 minutes ago.

Fucking hell. Cheers.

-Chris-