Worked. Drove to the parents' house. Got some mail that's been sitting around forever. Apparently I have jury duty in January. Fun. I ate some mashed potatoes my mom made. She didn't tell me that there were little bits of meat mixed up in it. I ate them and didn't say anything or make a big deal.
Once when I was a little kid, there was a party or something going on, and one of my friends asked if there were eggs in something, and went on and on about not eating meat or eggs, and although my mom tried to find something to accomodate him, I got the feeling that she was kind of put off by the whole thing. She seemed really sort of... Like... When someone is criticized in a really mean, harsh way. When you see a husband and wife eating dinner in the same restaurant as you, and the man says something that's just needlessly mean and hurtful to the woman, in front of everyone, and she just dabs at her lips and acts as if nothing's wrong, after taking each delicate bite, but you can tell, and it bothers you but you can't do anything about it (most of the time, anyway)... I didn't want to be an asshole and make my mom feel bad, or to make her feel like she wasn't "good enough" in any way, so I ate my fucking mashed potatoes with the tiny bits of bacon in them. I think it was bacon. I hope it was bacon, anyway. I'd rather it be bacon, than some "mystery meat". Eating just that tiny little bit of meat, I feel like I've failed myself in some way. In the grand scheme of things though, who gives a fuck. I'll just keep eating salads and fruits and keep my fucking mouth shut.
It's crazy to me that I remember intricate details of my past like that, and I let it affect me on a day-to-day basis much more than most people would... Yet I couldn't tell you what I ate for dinner a few days ago, how much my gas costs for my car, how much I spend a day on coffee... How many cigarettes I've smoked today... And I don't care enough to find out either.
Sigh. I actually chatted with my brother without getting in any kind of argument or altercation. My dad was pleasant, the whole however-long-I-was-there.
I think someone is putting something in the water here in Fayetteville. People are not as they should be, or would seem to be, as of late.
Hope all is well with everyone. Really. Seriously. It's cold and my hands don't want to work with me, doing the keyboard thing. I'm sure you understand.
-Chris-
Once when I was a little kid, there was a party or something going on, and one of my friends asked if there were eggs in something, and went on and on about not eating meat or eggs, and although my mom tried to find something to accomodate him, I got the feeling that she was kind of put off by the whole thing. She seemed really sort of... Like... When someone is criticized in a really mean, harsh way. When you see a husband and wife eating dinner in the same restaurant as you, and the man says something that's just needlessly mean and hurtful to the woman, in front of everyone, and she just dabs at her lips and acts as if nothing's wrong, after taking each delicate bite, but you can tell, and it bothers you but you can't do anything about it (most of the time, anyway)... I didn't want to be an asshole and make my mom feel bad, or to make her feel like she wasn't "good enough" in any way, so I ate my fucking mashed potatoes with the tiny bits of bacon in them. I think it was bacon. I hope it was bacon, anyway. I'd rather it be bacon, than some "mystery meat". Eating just that tiny little bit of meat, I feel like I've failed myself in some way. In the grand scheme of things though, who gives a fuck. I'll just keep eating salads and fruits and keep my fucking mouth shut.
It's crazy to me that I remember intricate details of my past like that, and I let it affect me on a day-to-day basis much more than most people would... Yet I couldn't tell you what I ate for dinner a few days ago, how much my gas costs for my car, how much I spend a day on coffee... How many cigarettes I've smoked today... And I don't care enough to find out either.
Sigh. I actually chatted with my brother without getting in any kind of argument or altercation. My dad was pleasant, the whole however-long-I-was-there.
I think someone is putting something in the water here in Fayetteville. People are not as they should be, or would seem to be, as of late.
Hope all is well with everyone. Really. Seriously. It's cold and my hands don't want to work with me, doing the keyboard thing. I'm sure you understand.
-Chris-
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cincity:
Yes I need to get pics up of the hair!
tangeu:
You say it is crazy to remember details of the past and let them affect you, I say not enough people do this. They forget peoples triggers and go around pissing everyone off, they forget their own mistakes and go on repeadting them, they forget and most of the time never even try to remember.