ah, monday.
i'm supposed to have a talk with my boss today. well today was the date he set, whether he remembers or cares or not.
this marks the end of a two week probationary period. according to my last review i am 'an overall disappointment as a manager'.
this is quite bullshit for many reasons. i am not going to drag anyone down reciting the ways they're running their business that i feel are completely unethical...
anyway, i have done almost my best these past couple weeks. i was spooked and worked my ass off and stressed for a good four days. then i realized this job has very little meaning to me. i also realised they expected perfection when they didn't even train me, but were hiring new people and expecting me to have them perfectly trained, and also i have no other supervisors to help me...i've been running around wondering why my capable self is not able to tie up four people's loose ends.
i also realized i actually hate being a manager. trying to control others' actions runs contrary to my beliefs. it's wasted energy. i like being a supervisor. i can simply ask the person to do something right then and there. but being responsible for how a bunch of adults (with the work ethics of kids) behave at all times, when i don't particularly want to even know work exists when i don't have to be there? bleh.
so i have no idear (is that how you would spell i-DEE-er?)
if i'll get fired, or if they'll let me step down to a supervisor level, but hopefully the latter.
if i get fired, oh the fuck well. like i said, it's a job, i'm going waay bigger and better places, i can find another job easily.
anyways.
i had fun last night. hng out in a limo and a few bars with one of my bestest amigos for his 21st. with a bunch of fags hitting on me. and jennee. jennee was passing out in the middle of dancing. it was hilarious. then i grabbed a bottle of kettle one from the bar when the dude wasn't looking but later found out my 'homie ' dru knew the owner of the bar and i think he told on us...luckily for me this other dude had it and he got kicked out for it ha. i was havin the perfect drunk tho coz i just had beers all night.
i lost my other ear plug. now i'm down to no plugs and one rock. i'll have to go to home depot or something and get another rock. i already want to go get an aloe plant.
i also want to get
this book real bad. anyone read any chopra? this will be my first.
this rad guy the other night came up on us at the beach and started playing the drums..on our cooler. and chanting. and we were all enjoying it immensly and singing along...what a positive experience.
then he stole my 'bible'. at least i'm pretty sure it was him, unless it was one of my friends. well anyway that book has been such an uplifting force in my life i can't even get mad. i'm stoked it's gonna help someone else to a higher consciousness now.
of course i spent the money i was going to spend on books and on my friend's baby shower gift, at the bar, food and gas last night. but that's okay. my job pays in tips, does it not? i'll just bring food from home and make it back in a couple days.
um, i have a lot to do this morning, but i have a hangover from lack of sleep. i can't decide if i should bravely push on through the day or succomb to my seductively beckoning covers.
oh yeah. i can't wait for nocturnal wonderland. it will be sooooo swell. me and my bounty hunter in our hot lil costumes! we'll have a line! i mostly can't fucking wait to dance. my last sober night of dancing was in march or april, i think!
i started drawing yesterday on the beach. it ws so peaceful just to let my thoughts wander and yet do something mindless at the same time.
i'm supposed to have a talk with my boss today. well today was the date he set, whether he remembers or cares or not.
this marks the end of a two week probationary period. according to my last review i am 'an overall disappointment as a manager'.
this is quite bullshit for many reasons. i am not going to drag anyone down reciting the ways they're running their business that i feel are completely unethical...
anyway, i have done almost my best these past couple weeks. i was spooked and worked my ass off and stressed for a good four days. then i realized this job has very little meaning to me. i also realised they expected perfection when they didn't even train me, but were hiring new people and expecting me to have them perfectly trained, and also i have no other supervisors to help me...i've been running around wondering why my capable self is not able to tie up four people's loose ends.
i also realized i actually hate being a manager. trying to control others' actions runs contrary to my beliefs. it's wasted energy. i like being a supervisor. i can simply ask the person to do something right then and there. but being responsible for how a bunch of adults (with the work ethics of kids) behave at all times, when i don't particularly want to even know work exists when i don't have to be there? bleh.
so i have no idear (is that how you would spell i-DEE-er?)
if i'll get fired, or if they'll let me step down to a supervisor level, but hopefully the latter.
if i get fired, oh the fuck well. like i said, it's a job, i'm going waay bigger and better places, i can find another job easily.
anyways.
i had fun last night. hng out in a limo and a few bars with one of my bestest amigos for his 21st. with a bunch of fags hitting on me. and jennee. jennee was passing out in the middle of dancing. it was hilarious. then i grabbed a bottle of kettle one from the bar when the dude wasn't looking but later found out my 'homie ' dru knew the owner of the bar and i think he told on us...luckily for me this other dude had it and he got kicked out for it ha. i was havin the perfect drunk tho coz i just had beers all night.
i lost my other ear plug. now i'm down to no plugs and one rock. i'll have to go to home depot or something and get another rock. i already want to go get an aloe plant.
i also want to get
this book real bad. anyone read any chopra? this will be my first.
this rad guy the other night came up on us at the beach and started playing the drums..on our cooler. and chanting. and we were all enjoying it immensly and singing along...what a positive experience.
then he stole my 'bible'. at least i'm pretty sure it was him, unless it was one of my friends. well anyway that book has been such an uplifting force in my life i can't even get mad. i'm stoked it's gonna help someone else to a higher consciousness now.
of course i spent the money i was going to spend on books and on my friend's baby shower gift, at the bar, food and gas last night. but that's okay. my job pays in tips, does it not? i'll just bring food from home and make it back in a couple days.
um, i have a lot to do this morning, but i have a hangover from lack of sleep. i can't decide if i should bravely push on through the day or succomb to my seductively beckoning covers.
oh yeah. i can't wait for nocturnal wonderland. it will be sooooo swell. me and my bounty hunter in our hot lil costumes! we'll have a line! i mostly can't fucking wait to dance. my last sober night of dancing was in march or april, i think!
i started drawing yesterday on the beach. it ws so peaceful just to let my thoughts wander and yet do something mindless at the same time.
There's another guy I like who reminds me of Chopra, though completely different-- Alain Botton: The Art of Travel and Status Anxiety.
I am envious of your lifestyle. Wish I was in S.D. again, around the beach, etc. My folks used to own the Pier Motel in Oceanside (until the govt. eminent-domained it) and I used to spend a lot of time there. Crowded as fuck now though, huh?
Take care.