Today is a mixed emotions day. I need to figure out my mixed emotions so I can make them all happy.
I'm stoked on my decision to get a new job. Every day at Whole Foods makes me realise more how lame the management is.
I'm not sure how many call ins and lates I have left before I'm on my last written. I wish I could look up my own files. I REALLY don't want to work this weekend--it's GORGEOUS out there. I guess I need the money but... Is it bad that I'd rather have a good day than make money? When I get like this I want to lecture myself on responsibility.
But then I think, man, it's my life. Why choose to spend the day any other way than how I want? I'll get a new job soon. It's not hard.
I'm sad because my best friend never has time for me. She's always gushing about how much she misses me and we need to hang out and this and that and so we trade schedules and try to hang out but she always makes other plans and says, 'oops, sorry!' or just doesn't call me for days and then laments at how busy she is. I know how it is to be busy. I just think if someone's your best friend you've barely seen twice in the past six months you might want to hang out with them instead of going to the bar with the lame ass girls you always talk shit about, right? I guess I'm just bitter. I love that girl and I just miss her.
Oh well. I have other friends who are in my life every day. I'm grateful for all you fuckers.
I'm pregnant. Again. All that makeup sex after the breakup. He's gonna have to fork over some cash this time, coz I will not wait another month to take care of it this time. I have an appointment next week. I'm crossing my fingers for the money and for a quick and painless evacuation--I'm trying the pills--it's like what they give women to induce labor. Makes you have a heavy period pretty much.
I've been invited to a wilderness party next weekend. I can't wait. I was supposed to go to a big party but this came up so I didn't get tix. I hope my 'period' is over and I'm feelin fine to dance all night under the stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY now THIS gets me excited. My favorite kind of party ever!!!!!!!
How can it be that now that we broke up I love my ex more than ever? We get a long soooooo much better. We hump soooooo much better. Relationships to me are like religion--man's way of trying to make people behave a certain way just because someone decided that's the way it should be. We are both sooo much happier without the relationship--yet it's still like a relationship---but without the obligations I guess.
I'm gonna work on my car today. She's gonna be so happy with me! Vroom vroom.
I had a breakthrough with my psychic abilities the other night. I met one of my main spiritual guides. At first I was scared shitless--the same feeling I used to get when someone was trying to communicate with me or if I was sensing energy. Just fear of the unknown.
Then I was assured that everything was fine. Then I spent twenty or so minutes shaking pretty violently--like shivers. I felt like I was the center of an explosion. It was soooo intense. I could feel huge waves of energy washing over me. I was told that rapidly expanding your awareness is not exactly comfortable. My guide was trying to get messages to me, but I was overwhelmed by his powerful energy--it was too much for my circuits or something. I haven't communicated with him much since. I will. Tonight, actually. I'll make a point of it. I want to know more. It's SO fun communicating with nonphysical! It's my favorite thing EVER. I wish I could do that for a living. I should call up psychic investigators.
My circle of friends is definitely no accident. I'm finding more psychic connection and abilities when I ask then I thought were there! There are certain friends I feel are on this planet for the same purpose I am. What purpose? I don't know yet. I'm waiting for them to 'wake up'. I feel I'm the candle that will light the others' flames. They just have to become more aware. It'll happen.
My ex had a breakthrough a week ago or so. An entity was trying to communicate with him and I told him this casually. Then he kinda freaked out like I was describing myself doing last night---eyes rolling back, body overwhelmed etc and freaking out and trying to block it out. He's very visual and they communicate very clearly with him through pictures. Once he relaxed and decided he wanted to allow this connection, it flowed. He spoke with one of his guides, Matt, and with Abraham. Since then he's been sensing and communicating right along with me--if not better! I definitely need to work on my powers of visualization.
The other night a friend of our good friend came to us. She had hung herself last week. The night she died she was trying to get a message through me but instead of listening for the message I was too busy trying to figure out who she was. I told her to come back later. She did. She sent some crazy visuals through Shawn. He kinda freaked out but let it through anyway. She let us know that she's happy, safe and clean...As soon as my friend called her boyfriend(who found her), woke him up and told him this everything calmd down. She had been screaming to get through. Then she just chilled.
Man this shit is fun! It's not scary at all. It's just entities in the nonphysical plane...where we're goin when we're done here and where we came from anyway...I love being open and can't wait to sharpen my intuition and use this gift in a powerful way!
I'm stoked on my decision to get a new job. Every day at Whole Foods makes me realise more how lame the management is.
I'm not sure how many call ins and lates I have left before I'm on my last written. I wish I could look up my own files. I REALLY don't want to work this weekend--it's GORGEOUS out there. I guess I need the money but... Is it bad that I'd rather have a good day than make money? When I get like this I want to lecture myself on responsibility.
But then I think, man, it's my life. Why choose to spend the day any other way than how I want? I'll get a new job soon. It's not hard.
I'm sad because my best friend never has time for me. She's always gushing about how much she misses me and we need to hang out and this and that and so we trade schedules and try to hang out but she always makes other plans and says, 'oops, sorry!' or just doesn't call me for days and then laments at how busy she is. I know how it is to be busy. I just think if someone's your best friend you've barely seen twice in the past six months you might want to hang out with them instead of going to the bar with the lame ass girls you always talk shit about, right? I guess I'm just bitter. I love that girl and I just miss her.
Oh well. I have other friends who are in my life every day. I'm grateful for all you fuckers.
I'm pregnant. Again. All that makeup sex after the breakup. He's gonna have to fork over some cash this time, coz I will not wait another month to take care of it this time. I have an appointment next week. I'm crossing my fingers for the money and for a quick and painless evacuation--I'm trying the pills--it's like what they give women to induce labor. Makes you have a heavy period pretty much.
I've been invited to a wilderness party next weekend. I can't wait. I was supposed to go to a big party but this came up so I didn't get tix. I hope my 'period' is over and I'm feelin fine to dance all night under the stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YAY now THIS gets me excited. My favorite kind of party ever!!!!!!!
How can it be that now that we broke up I love my ex more than ever? We get a long soooooo much better. We hump soooooo much better. Relationships to me are like religion--man's way of trying to make people behave a certain way just because someone decided that's the way it should be. We are both sooo much happier without the relationship--yet it's still like a relationship---but without the obligations I guess.
I'm gonna work on my car today. She's gonna be so happy with me! Vroom vroom.
I had a breakthrough with my psychic abilities the other night. I met one of my main spiritual guides. At first I was scared shitless--the same feeling I used to get when someone was trying to communicate with me or if I was sensing energy. Just fear of the unknown.
Then I was assured that everything was fine. Then I spent twenty or so minutes shaking pretty violently--like shivers. I felt like I was the center of an explosion. It was soooo intense. I could feel huge waves of energy washing over me. I was told that rapidly expanding your awareness is not exactly comfortable. My guide was trying to get messages to me, but I was overwhelmed by his powerful energy--it was too much for my circuits or something. I haven't communicated with him much since. I will. Tonight, actually. I'll make a point of it. I want to know more. It's SO fun communicating with nonphysical! It's my favorite thing EVER. I wish I could do that for a living. I should call up psychic investigators.
My circle of friends is definitely no accident. I'm finding more psychic connection and abilities when I ask then I thought were there! There are certain friends I feel are on this planet for the same purpose I am. What purpose? I don't know yet. I'm waiting for them to 'wake up'. I feel I'm the candle that will light the others' flames. They just have to become more aware. It'll happen.
My ex had a breakthrough a week ago or so. An entity was trying to communicate with him and I told him this casually. Then he kinda freaked out like I was describing myself doing last night---eyes rolling back, body overwhelmed etc and freaking out and trying to block it out. He's very visual and they communicate very clearly with him through pictures. Once he relaxed and decided he wanted to allow this connection, it flowed. He spoke with one of his guides, Matt, and with Abraham. Since then he's been sensing and communicating right along with me--if not better! I definitely need to work on my powers of visualization.
The other night a friend of our good friend came to us. She had hung herself last week. The night she died she was trying to get a message through me but instead of listening for the message I was too busy trying to figure out who she was. I told her to come back later. She did. She sent some crazy visuals through Shawn. He kinda freaked out but let it through anyway. She let us know that she's happy, safe and clean...As soon as my friend called her boyfriend(who found her), woke him up and told him this everything calmd down. She had been screaming to get through. Then she just chilled.
Man this shit is fun! It's not scary at all. It's just entities in the nonphysical plane...where we're goin when we're done here and where we came from anyway...I love being open and can't wait to sharpen my intuition and use this gift in a powerful way!
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Thanks for the compliment....I'm not usually very photogenic. I really hope you can come to the party so I can meet you! I'll send you some more details, but the announcement is also on the SGSD group....