I don't know what I'm going to do about my boi/me and my living situation yet.
I told him I'm going to get my ass to school as soon as I line it up and he wants me to. He said nothing about me moving or us breaking up.
But we're both still not feeling it sexually. Last night something was wrong and he kept saying nothing was til I was falling asleep and he said somethin like '...I just feel like Teresa...' (Teresa is my plp) then I was asleep. I asked him today and he was falling asleep too. Hmm.
I think he was talking about what we were saying at my party about loving everything about someone but not having that one thing...
I really, really don't wish to move home anymore. I will do it if that's what it takes to go to school but I won't be able to live as me there. I can do it for shorter times--not talk about my beliefs and interests, not act stoned, practice my evil yoga(!) in secret, etc. But that's not all of me and ew. No.
If he wants to break up cool whatever. I think we'll be cool and he won't kick me out right away. At least not while I'm still pregnant with his child. Not that I'm going to hold it over his head but I can feel his compassion for my situation. He knows how gross pregnancy is to me and all that. Plus he wouldn't make me go through an abortion recovery at my parents'.
If we break it off I'm going to beg him to let me get my grow started before we move. Then I can tell my parents I'm getting grants or working full time or something and rent a room somewhere with some other stoner. THEN if it flops I can move home. I'll tell my mom I'm exhausted and I can't make rent blah blah I need to focus more on my school etc.
I have an extremely good feeling about growing. I have gone through the grand visions and death of visions with my boi's growing and I know it''s not perfect for everyone, especially just starting. I am going to do this though. I will not give up until I do and therefore I will not fail at it
I told him I'm going to get my ass to school as soon as I line it up and he wants me to. He said nothing about me moving or us breaking up.
But we're both still not feeling it sexually. Last night something was wrong and he kept saying nothing was til I was falling asleep and he said somethin like '...I just feel like Teresa...' (Teresa is my plp) then I was asleep. I asked him today and he was falling asleep too. Hmm.
I think he was talking about what we were saying at my party about loving everything about someone but not having that one thing...
I really, really don't wish to move home anymore. I will do it if that's what it takes to go to school but I won't be able to live as me there. I can do it for shorter times--not talk about my beliefs and interests, not act stoned, practice my evil yoga(!) in secret, etc. But that's not all of me and ew. No.
If he wants to break up cool whatever. I think we'll be cool and he won't kick me out right away. At least not while I'm still pregnant with his child. Not that I'm going to hold it over his head but I can feel his compassion for my situation. He knows how gross pregnancy is to me and all that. Plus he wouldn't make me go through an abortion recovery at my parents'.
If we break it off I'm going to beg him to let me get my grow started before we move. Then I can tell my parents I'm getting grants or working full time or something and rent a room somewhere with some other stoner. THEN if it flops I can move home. I'll tell my mom I'm exhausted and I can't make rent blah blah I need to focus more on my school etc.
I have an extremely good feeling about growing. I have gone through the grand visions and death of visions with my boi's growing and I know it''s not perfect for everyone, especially just starting. I am going to do this though. I will not give up until I do and therefore I will not fail at it