THE UNIVERS KNOWS ONLY PERFECTION< DOES IT NOT???
This has been the theme of my life as of late.
For instance,
Keri posted this (she often posts her advice for the day, and I love them) today:
Today's advice:
"One of your close relationships has gone as far as it can, and it may be time for the two of you to admit that fact. This doesn't mean that the two of you have to get out of each other's lives -- it just means that the roles you play will have to change if you are both going to be happy. You might have an easier time accepting this fact than the other person, so be prepared for some resistance -- even if this 'breakup' wasn't even your idea. "
This is EXACTLY what I'm going through!!
My 'best friend', who is hereby relieved of her title and given the new title of 'ex-best-friend-but-still-an-acquaintance', got all butt hurt about that post a few journals back. She wrote me some nasty ass comments, to which I replied:
SPOILERS! (Click to view) dude. why are you taking things so personally?
i was simply noticing how things have been.
i didn't say you weren't on the same level as me, or that you aren't quality, or anything like that.
i don't consider partying to be quality time, but that wasn't the point.
the point is that i've been watching how things are happening, and i'm choosing to interpret them by hoping for the best instead of dwelling on the bummers.
i said we seem to be growing apart... because that's how it feels to me.. yes family is always there, but do you really feel like you know them if you never see them? i was simply saying that if that's the case, and things are going to keep going in that direction, i'm going to hope it's for good reason!
i'm sorry i didn't call you for awhile. that was my bad, i was too lazy or too busy to pick up the phone.
all i want is for both of us to feel good and be happy. i did not mean to hurt you with my musings.
i always say how i feel, and because of that i have to accept that others will interpret it how they want.
anyway, like i said in my journal, i hope we don't just 'let it go.'
frustrations are just a part of life, and it helps to vent them.. i'm sorry i did it at your expense.
i tend to see meaning in everything.. maybe i was looking a little too deeply this time.
I haven't heard back from her, she's taken me off her top eight on myspace (which is a big deal for 'best friends' in the myDRAMAspace world!), and she won't approve any of my comments.. (which have just been the usual funny shit)
I'm honestly scared to call her! Every time I think about her or calling her I feel kaka.
I feel that to mend our friendship it's going to take one of five things:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)1) I go and fall at her feet and apologise for being such a douche friend.
(Which I HAVEN'T been! I explained myself.. I was just expressing myself, and I didn't do anything mean, wrong or intentionally hurtful to her!!)
2) We let time heal this.
3) I message or call her and say, hey, I still want to be friends, but I don't feel I've done anything to hurt you. Let's get this straightened out.
4) I get over it and just let it go.
5) She realizes she was taking it way too personally and calms down and talks to me again.
Really, 2 and 4 seem the best options for me right now. Because honsetly, I've been evaluating things, and I don't see much of a reason to go chasing after her, OTHER THAN our history. And I'm learning to live in the NOW. And NOW thinking about her in any way other than 'I asked to be surrounded by a certain caliper of people, and this is part of the universe's answer... "ya gotta weed the garden before ya plant anything else" makes me feel like crap.
And I aint' about letting myself feel like crap anymore.
Tis all for now. 
Off to do my hair and stuff.
