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_catalyst_

San Diego Ca

Member Since 2008

Followers 122 Following 293

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Thursday Jan 05, 2006

Jan 5, 2006
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*Ahem.*

We now return to our regularly scheduled program....

The sucky thing about clearing negative beliefs is that you must bring them to the surface and feel the vibrational discord, in order to bring yourself back into balance.

Yesterday was a big whopping 'belief cleanse' for me.

It's crazy how many beliefs I have been holding in the back of my mind that are totally contrary to the new beliefs I have been developing---I'm changing, and those don't match me anymore.

...Which is an awesome thing to recognize! smile

Now that I have cleared a lot of it and gained my perspective back I am grateful for the experience yesterday.

I started by wanting to find a positive place on a certain subject. As I listed my thoughts on it, my beliefs, I felt worse and worse. Before I knew it I was on a negative rampage about everything about myself and my life. Seriously, the only thing that gave me relief was thinking about how delicious 'death' would feel. But hey--morbid as suicide may seem, the thought DID give me relief, didn't it?

So I started to come out of it and realize that the reason I was feeling like shit about myself and everything was not because of the conditions so much, or even the fact that I created them... I was feeling like shit because I was thinking thoughts that didn't align with my Inner Self's thoughts...FAR from it......
This has been the first time I have recognized a 'bout with depression' consciously, for what it really is, I am so excited about that!

I think from now on I will clear negative beliefs one at a time. I will replace them with positive, harmonious thoughts easier one at a time than if I create a snowball of negative and then have to wait for it to hit bottom to break apart.

Seriously yesterday I felt like a big black hole, and all of a sudden my energy turned inside out and started to flow again, and I could feel all these slimy clouds of negative clinging to me---no wait, they aren't clinging, I'm clinging to them! Then it clicked that it doesn't matter what's been going on my whole life. It matters what I think and believe NOW. As soon as I started thinking about my new perspectives, I was able to easily let go of all of that.... it's not a part of me anymore.

I believe now that the unpleasing parts of my life up til now have been the result of my vibrational disharmony...my own thoughts turned beliefs turned vibrational set points turned life experiences.

So what if I haven't got where I want to be yet? Now I know why. And I know how to change it.

If I had remembered way back then what I remember now I would have been receiving everything I have been asking for this whole time! Well Poop.

But no sense dwelling on that! Onward and Upward! smile

Ps. This computer sucks balls so I haven't been able to see your comments. frown
lemuria:
~if i know now what i knew then than i wouldnt know then what i know now!! ~modest mouse. miao!!
man i wish you did not live so far away..i think we would have some amazing conversation. in reiki, also, things do get worse before they get better too. in sevens. seven days fourteen days etc...im sure you knew that seven thing though. wink thoughts are things...did you see my journal with my real journal pictures in it and the hearts and plus signs and such? it was two days ago i think...well, i had diagrams of how energy received is equal to or greater than energy put out...this is all sort of like a brain storming thing here so sorry if it makes no sense. ram dass. be here now!!! thats awesome you were able to look at depression from an outside perspective. smile belief cleanses are good. im working on some of them too. have you ever read new chakra healing by cyndi dale? its my bible of sorts. wink enjoy the ascending spiral. kiss
Jan 5, 2006

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