Rachel,
FUCK YOU. Lying slut, huh? That's what you think of me? Without even talking to me. What the fuck did I do?
Word on the street is you think I tried to break you and Jeremiah up to get with him.
Psh. That's the biggest crock I've ever heard! I wanted you guys to be happy. That's all.
From talking to you, you wanted out. From talking to him, so did he. I was just telling you guys what I saw and knew: You like Jason, Jason likes you, you treat him like shit, you aren't happy and neither is he.
As far as I was concerned, he was off limits, even if you guys broke up, for a long time. I didn't even think he was attracted to me at all! Now I see he must be or there would not be this drama over it. I thought he was in love with you. Why the fuck would I fuck with that? Friendship to me is more important.
I'm not ashamed of being attracted to Jeremiah. I haven't done anything wrong. I've been honest with my feelings.
Seriously, I gave you guys advice from the heart as a friend who just wanted to see your happiness.
YOU are the one who is fucking everyone up with your lies and manipulation, and you know it.
I'm really hurt and confused.
Here's the timeline of events from my perspective.
1.) Everyone notices something between Rachel and Jason.
2.) Everyone pretends to ignore it for months.
3.) I start thinking seriously that Shawn and I are not right for each other.
4.) Rachel and Jason start confessing their feelings to me.
5.) I tell them, 'Do what feels right. Telling the truth is much easier than trying to ignore the problem.'
(I'm thinking of me and Shawn...I'm pretty much over it by this point and feel like every day I'm with him is lying.)
6.) I don't say anything to Jeremiah. I figure it's obvious enough.
7.) I watch the interaction between Rachel, Jeremiah, Jason, and the whole group.
8.) I notice Rachel treats Jeremiah like shit. I notice them getting more and more unhappy.
9.) I decide for sure I need to leave Shawn. I don't want anything like this to happen to us; I'd rather just admit that I'm not attracted to him anymore now rather than proving it.
10.) Shawn is an asshole to me the next day. I call Teresa and we make plans to live together
11.) I figure out I can't leave Shawn til Teresa gets back from New York or I will have nowhere to go.
12.) I tell my friends my frustration.
13.) Rachel tells me she and Jeremiah are talking about a divorce. I tell her to do what feels like it will make her happy. She says she's done with Jeremiah. I tell her not to worry, she has friends.
14.) I feel conflicted because it seems right for them to break up, but thinking about my crush on Jeremiah, I feel guilty, even knowing it has nothing to do with the situation or the advice I'm giving.
15.) I talk to Jeremiah. I tell him my observations. I vent, he vents. We have a good conversation, the kind best friends have. I leave feeling better for being honest about what I knew and I felt better because my friend felt better (or so he said.)
16.) I go home and talk to Shawn. I tell him it's not working. We talk about our lack of a sex life and stress. After that I feel it's clear we should go our separate ways. He feels like if we just eliminate the stress everything will be fine. Nothing is really resolved.
17.) The next day I'm bummed because I think T is gone, and I got nowhere with Shawn. I ask if Jeremiah wants to talk again.
18.) Jeremiah and I hang out. He says they are working it out, Rachel wants to stay together, she's distancing herself from Jason.
19.) I say, 'what? She just told me today she talked to him and she wants to move out but she's scared no one will hang out with her.' Jeremiah gets pissed, says 'fuck that bitch, I'm moving out'.
20.) We have another good conversation. I feel like we are going to be closer friends because of this. I feel that even though the changes we both are going through hurt, everything will be great in the end.
21.) Next day, I get a snotty message from Rachel. 'We aren't together anymore, Jeremiah doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, if you want to be my friend fine if not have a nice life.'
22.) I freak out. What the fuck is up with that? I try to be a good friend, he tells me I'm a good friend, then he won't even tell me himself that he doesn't want to be friends anymore????
23.) I decide, well fuck all this drama. I'm going to stay away from them and Jason's til this blows over.
24.) I hear that Rachel and Jeremiah are hanging out together and with everyone but me and Shawn. And I have no idea why.
25.) I get pissed and say, 'fuck you I thought you were my friend'.
26.) Rachel texts back saying 'I thought you were my friend too guess not.' WTF?????
27.) Shawn comes home and I hear that Rachel is bitching at him how she hates his girlfriend and I'm a lying slut. I hear that Jeremiah 'just needs space.' What is this bullshit?
Jeremiah,
What the fuuuuck?!
I was trying to help you, as a friend, to be happy.
Seriously, the fact that I'm attracted to you had nothing to do with anything
I was saying or doing.
We happened to be going through similar shit, and I enjoyed being able to
relate for the short time that we were.
I have not other motives.
I knew we felt close, but I thought the attraction was all on my side.
It would never have crossed my mind to break you guys up purposely ...
especially over my silly crush!
I'm really disgusted with you. I thought we were going to be closer.
Everything happens for a reason. Now I know.
Bye.
FUCK YOU. Lying slut, huh? That's what you think of me? Without even talking to me. What the fuck did I do?
Word on the street is you think I tried to break you and Jeremiah up to get with him.
Psh. That's the biggest crock I've ever heard! I wanted you guys to be happy. That's all.
From talking to you, you wanted out. From talking to him, so did he. I was just telling you guys what I saw and knew: You like Jason, Jason likes you, you treat him like shit, you aren't happy and neither is he.
As far as I was concerned, he was off limits, even if you guys broke up, for a long time. I didn't even think he was attracted to me at all! Now I see he must be or there would not be this drama over it. I thought he was in love with you. Why the fuck would I fuck with that? Friendship to me is more important.
I'm not ashamed of being attracted to Jeremiah. I haven't done anything wrong. I've been honest with my feelings.
Seriously, I gave you guys advice from the heart as a friend who just wanted to see your happiness.
YOU are the one who is fucking everyone up with your lies and manipulation, and you know it.
I'm really hurt and confused.
Here's the timeline of events from my perspective.
1.) Everyone notices something between Rachel and Jason.
2.) Everyone pretends to ignore it for months.
3.) I start thinking seriously that Shawn and I are not right for each other.
4.) Rachel and Jason start confessing their feelings to me.
5.) I tell them, 'Do what feels right. Telling the truth is much easier than trying to ignore the problem.'
(I'm thinking of me and Shawn...I'm pretty much over it by this point and feel like every day I'm with him is lying.)
6.) I don't say anything to Jeremiah. I figure it's obvious enough.
7.) I watch the interaction between Rachel, Jeremiah, Jason, and the whole group.
8.) I notice Rachel treats Jeremiah like shit. I notice them getting more and more unhappy.
9.) I decide for sure I need to leave Shawn. I don't want anything like this to happen to us; I'd rather just admit that I'm not attracted to him anymore now rather than proving it.
10.) Shawn is an asshole to me the next day. I call Teresa and we make plans to live together
11.) I figure out I can't leave Shawn til Teresa gets back from New York or I will have nowhere to go.
12.) I tell my friends my frustration.
13.) Rachel tells me she and Jeremiah are talking about a divorce. I tell her to do what feels like it will make her happy. She says she's done with Jeremiah. I tell her not to worry, she has friends.
14.) I feel conflicted because it seems right for them to break up, but thinking about my crush on Jeremiah, I feel guilty, even knowing it has nothing to do with the situation or the advice I'm giving.
15.) I talk to Jeremiah. I tell him my observations. I vent, he vents. We have a good conversation, the kind best friends have. I leave feeling better for being honest about what I knew and I felt better because my friend felt better (or so he said.)
16.) I go home and talk to Shawn. I tell him it's not working. We talk about our lack of a sex life and stress. After that I feel it's clear we should go our separate ways. He feels like if we just eliminate the stress everything will be fine. Nothing is really resolved.
17.) The next day I'm bummed because I think T is gone, and I got nowhere with Shawn. I ask if Jeremiah wants to talk again.
18.) Jeremiah and I hang out. He says they are working it out, Rachel wants to stay together, she's distancing herself from Jason.
19.) I say, 'what? She just told me today she talked to him and she wants to move out but she's scared no one will hang out with her.' Jeremiah gets pissed, says 'fuck that bitch, I'm moving out'.
20.) We have another good conversation. I feel like we are going to be closer friends because of this. I feel that even though the changes we both are going through hurt, everything will be great in the end.
21.) Next day, I get a snotty message from Rachel. 'We aren't together anymore, Jeremiah doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, if you want to be my friend fine if not have a nice life.'
22.) I freak out. What the fuck is up with that? I try to be a good friend, he tells me I'm a good friend, then he won't even tell me himself that he doesn't want to be friends anymore????
23.) I decide, well fuck all this drama. I'm going to stay away from them and Jason's til this blows over.
24.) I hear that Rachel and Jeremiah are hanging out together and with everyone but me and Shawn. And I have no idea why.
25.) I get pissed and say, 'fuck you I thought you were my friend'.
26.) Rachel texts back saying 'I thought you were my friend too guess not.' WTF?????
27.) Shawn comes home and I hear that Rachel is bitching at him how she hates his girlfriend and I'm a lying slut. I hear that Jeremiah 'just needs space.' What is this bullshit?
Jeremiah,
What the fuuuuck?!
I was trying to help you, as a friend, to be happy.
Seriously, the fact that I'm attracted to you had nothing to do with anything
I was saying or doing.
We happened to be going through similar shit, and I enjoyed being able to
relate for the short time that we were.
I have not other motives.
I knew we felt close, but I thought the attraction was all on my side.
It would never have crossed my mind to break you guys up purposely ...
especially over my silly crush!
I'm really disgusted with you. I thought we were going to be closer.
Everything happens for a reason. Now I know.
Bye.
I'm really drunk, but after reading all this all I can say is just keep on keepin on. It doesn't sond like you did anything wrong.