I had the worst night last night. I haven't gone out since last Monday. A friend of mine, well her band was playing a show at the Tube so I decided that I would get out-da-house for a bit and enjoy a night out, not having to deal with all of the retarded bullshit from being dumped last week. I hadn't been out in days. I needed some respite from my apartment.
First mistake, walking out the door.
I live off of Broadway, in Northeast Portland. When I travel, its usual on my skateboard. I've got a sick cruiser thats built specifically for going long distances. ANYWAY, the route I usually take is to shoot down 28th, cross I84, down past Burnside and then down SE Ankney till it meets back up there at 11th where Sandy & Burnside converge.
I have lots of friends in town. Several of them, like myself run various entertainment at bars and nightclubs all over town. Mondays gained a new night called Manic at the Chesterfield. I get down across the street from there and glance over to see how things are, since I haven't been there since it started a couple of weeks ago and I see my ex girlfriend, all gussied up, drinking and carrying on outside at the tables with some skinny, slick haired, suited douchebag. I nearly threw up. My guts turned inside out. But I kept walking. I should've just turned around and gone home. I didn't.
My mind racing I decided to just go to the Tube and attempt to salvage my evening.
I'm there for about an hour and my friends band is about through 4 songs when guess who walks in? My ex and her male companion. I couldn't fucking believe it. She doesn't even know my friend and her band. She doesn't go to the tube. I don't even know how to process any of the information my brain is compiling at that moment. THEN they get drinks and sit close by. I just lost my shit, leaned over to her and told her "its nice to see you out. You can't even wait a week to go out with some douchebag? Glad to know I meant so much to you, i mean just last week you were telling me you were in love with me.. fuck you" and I left.
I ended up going to a few different places getting SHITTY drunk. I left an angry voice mail on her phone. I never do shit like that, but I felt justified. Kind of an extended version of what I said to her face earlier in the evening. How does a person react to that? Is there a rational way to deal with that kind of thing? I doubt it.
I end up home after the bars close and I start checking my email. She hops on line and tries to talk to me via IM. I tell her to fuck-herself and if she wants to talk she can call. SO she did. We exchanged a lot of words, mine very hurt angry kind and an hour or so later I go to bed.
Nothing is resolved. She said its not a date and she can hang with whoever she wants and I don't dispute that but its all sorts of weird coincidences and that even if it was an innocent night out, on the surface everything that could've gone wrong did.
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do from here.
First mistake, walking out the door.
I live off of Broadway, in Northeast Portland. When I travel, its usual on my skateboard. I've got a sick cruiser thats built specifically for going long distances. ANYWAY, the route I usually take is to shoot down 28th, cross I84, down past Burnside and then down SE Ankney till it meets back up there at 11th where Sandy & Burnside converge.
I have lots of friends in town. Several of them, like myself run various entertainment at bars and nightclubs all over town. Mondays gained a new night called Manic at the Chesterfield. I get down across the street from there and glance over to see how things are, since I haven't been there since it started a couple of weeks ago and I see my ex girlfriend, all gussied up, drinking and carrying on outside at the tables with some skinny, slick haired, suited douchebag. I nearly threw up. My guts turned inside out. But I kept walking. I should've just turned around and gone home. I didn't.
My mind racing I decided to just go to the Tube and attempt to salvage my evening.
I'm there for about an hour and my friends band is about through 4 songs when guess who walks in? My ex and her male companion. I couldn't fucking believe it. She doesn't even know my friend and her band. She doesn't go to the tube. I don't even know how to process any of the information my brain is compiling at that moment. THEN they get drinks and sit close by. I just lost my shit, leaned over to her and told her "its nice to see you out. You can't even wait a week to go out with some douchebag? Glad to know I meant so much to you, i mean just last week you were telling me you were in love with me.. fuck you" and I left.
I ended up going to a few different places getting SHITTY drunk. I left an angry voice mail on her phone. I never do shit like that, but I felt justified. Kind of an extended version of what I said to her face earlier in the evening. How does a person react to that? Is there a rational way to deal with that kind of thing? I doubt it.
I end up home after the bars close and I start checking my email. She hops on line and tries to talk to me via IM. I tell her to fuck-herself and if she wants to talk she can call. SO she did. We exchanged a lot of words, mine very hurt angry kind and an hour or so later I go to bed.
Nothing is resolved. She said its not a date and she can hang with whoever she wants and I don't dispute that but its all sorts of weird coincidences and that even if it was an innocent night out, on the surface everything that could've gone wrong did.
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do from here.