_argos_

so yeah - just sitting here at my computer - another day it seems - another day closer to school, taxes, death, tomorrow, next week, next year, decade and millenium.... and where do I sit in light of all of this - this -pile, this heap, this collage of life, this scattered-ness, randomness - am I the collage, the work of art - or am I the painter? Am I the critic, the crowd, the gazer? What am I looking at - is it myself, the world, you, them...... nothing-ness, everything? So much going on and so little - everything is so still - lifeless and yet so vibrant and full of life..... death gets closer every day.... yet I swim on in light of this - as if I have no idea that around a corner one day in my life - there death will be waiting for me..... open loving arms ready to envelop me back into the ooze-ness - the darkness - the void.....

It is the human spirit that keeps me waking up every day to once again trek down the path in front of me.... as if I know that around other corners lies what I seek..... happiness in the interim.... roses along the path - and I know that I will miss it all if I don't stop and smell those roses - and enjoy the little simple things - as if that is what life is all about - the simple things..... and I tend to over-complicate things and make life harder than it should be... but it seems that when I am able to loosen the hold that my awareness has on my mental thoughts and ego - then I am able to see through the fog that is created by the mental activity that obscures my vision........ alcohol has thus far been the easiest way to achieve this state....... how sad

I am taking a Yoga class this term - maybe that will help.... or maybe I will just be more flexible..... who knows?

I have lost my train of thought - I am now in the caboose and am slowing down - on that note....... ciao