Monday Apr 18, 2005

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today was a strange day....
it`s hard to say goodbye to someone when you know they will be dead by the time you`re done. i experienced that today when we took my grandmother off of her life support. i was alone with her for a few minutes when i was saying goodbye. i turned around for a minute because i couldn`t stop myself from crying, and even though i didn`t know if she was coherent, i didn`t want her to see me that way. when i turned around she was staring straight at me, and i will never know for sure if she was looking at me or if her eyes had simply rolled into my direction, because she couldn`t speak and she had stopped showing emotion, but i still think she looked scared.

i will be back after i get things sorted out.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
monkeybutt:
kiss kiss kiss

you have my best wishes.
toneski:
I feel for you girl, almost one year ago today, I held my dad's hand as he breathed his last breathe, 2 years ago I had my hand on my grammy's foot while she passed away. And right before her last breathe, her head startled off the pillow, eyes wide open staring directly at me. At first I was terrified, but soon after realized that her and I had a special connection, as did you and your grammy. Remember that this happens to EVERYONE, no one can escape it. And know that she lived a full life, got to enjoy you and many other things. Be happy for her. If that were you lying there, you would have wanted the same thing.

i love ya girl.

e-mail me if you need a pick me up.

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