__lex__

So at this point I'm no longer expecting to get a call back from said girl I met at the wedding. Spent last night out with some friends and apparently did a fine job of atracting girls that I have no attraction to at all. Kinda goofy how it works out that way.

No really point in trying to ramble on about it here though....
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bleh...

so yeah, left a voicemail for the girl tonight and man i still feel like an uber dork. being smooth with the females has never really been one of my fortes and it still isnt apparently. Im sure im just being a little hard on myself but its totally like one of those things where i go in with a plan, i know what...
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Well ok, so tomorrow is the day when im supposed to give this girl a call from the wedding. Was discussing things with my Dr. today and she asked me if there were any sort of 'non verbal' signals that she may have sent my way. Well, if there were I missed them or something cuz I dont know. Basically the last thing i want...
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Ok, so a brief post/update about the weekend out in the 'burgh

After hang'n in Villanova for an evening on thursday I jumped in my sweet ride and hauled ass out to Pittsburgh. I, as per usual, was my own worse enemy allowing myself to get into shitty moods for no apparent reason but then jumping right back out of them again. Had a good...
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So right now im in a mad rush to get packed for the weekend. I'm really looking forward to a change of scenery for at least a little bit even if this weekend isnt shaping up as I had originally planned.

Today is one of those great pre-fall days where the air is crisp but the sun is warm and it's just damn near impossible...
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Finished up day two of my seminar and it was awesome. It's always a blast when professor comes into town just because he has such a presence in the class that it takes on this whole new dimension.


So, Im basically taking myself out of town tomorrow just because I really need a change of scenery. Granted me going to my bud's wedding this weekend...
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I think the toughest part in all of this, for me at least, is losing someone to share things with. After a long day today and a really kick ass seminar at my kung fu school I come home to an empty house and just miss being able to call and share my day and hear about her's.

Id never been with a person who...
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So far on my whirlwind quest to find a replacement date for the wedding im going to this weekend has come up empty....

I have one friend who is interested its just a matter of getting her out there, havent seen her in years so it would definetly be a blast. The wedding is a bunch of my old rowing friends so who knows what...
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sexual frustration and bouts of loneliness are still on tap....

However I do believe I'm bringing sexy back....


just had a blast playing pool with some buds, losing 4 straight games to some 30 something year old women, and basically staring at the fashion crimes of an 80's bar loop.

so yeah.....it seems i was a tad mistaken....

I am totally single once again.....the only question now is am I better off knowing how happy i can be when im with someone who i can totally be myself with? or would it be easier to still be ignorant of that sensation?


So, back to being stuck in Delaware with no real source of social outlet...
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So it looks like im going to start therapy soon.......

feeling like i have all these things in my life that are purely temporary and i dont know what the problem is.....been on edge and just feeling not quite in control.

Couldnt get ahold of anyone on friday so i left messages.....hopefully i'll hear back on monday from someone so i can start on the...
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So its been a while....time for some udating i suppose.....

First, its nice to know some people are wondering wtf is going on with me...so ty for that

So, I just got back from a fun weekend up in NY going to my first club race at Watkins Glen. Definetly a good time and I totally hope I get the chance to go back. Only...
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