Wednesday Nov 02, 2011

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I dont want thoughts. pictures. emotions.

"Father, Healer,
Deliver me from broken love
Stay here closer
Let me hear your voice of love"
~ Broken Love, Falling Up


All I want it to be better. to straighten out this fucked up thought process I have.
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kelpie_:
be strong. i'll send you my number, you can text me if you need to.
baax:
Stay strong. Every tunnel evenutally has a light at the end.

Monday Oct 31, 2011

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entese:
my gosh extremly cute!
carbon8ed:
Why thank you! Yeah I still trick or treat as well idc how old I am I just felt weird going by myself lol. Hahaha did you really hey well it got you out of the house and you got some candy right? tongue

Saturday Oct 29, 2011

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So maaaaaybe ill get to go to the mall today since the bf n me got in a fight >:| sooo...yeah
at least i got flowers when he realized he was being completely crazy-pants....yetttt
i still have this terrible issue haunting my mind...spending thanksgiving with my inlaws puke
literally i have no desire to go, but out of love for my bf i told him i...
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sissa:
ahahah! COOL! smile
Let me know if you plan to come ... I am mostly free on weekends!
Let's meet and shoot sweet Lady! smile
gujsel:
have so wonderful time my dear you are always too gorgeous!!!kisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskisskiss

Friday Oct 28, 2011

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richard_:
I was totally jk. I do love the snow. But damn, why's it gotta be so cold??
djoseph:
bout time you blogged again. silly girl. kiss

Thursday Oct 27, 2011

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Heyyy Sorry I havent been around much the last couple days!
Ahhh life is crazy sometimes! Moved around a bit and we are now with some
family outside of Seattle Area! I was pretty sad to leave the Ocean but
it was for the best. Grandma is doing okay, Im really worried that she
isn't eating enough because of the Chemo...so I have been trying...
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guardian_:
The red hair would be really cute smile
djoseph:
personally i don't think it is bad to be the serious one. i think if you want certain things, you shouldn't settle for anything else. sure, some things can be corrected over time, but if you don't have someone who is on your level, then you're wasting time. someone out there is willing to give you just what you want.
as far as the hair, i'm going to disagree with everyone else. i love your hair the way it is. i think if you wanted to add red into it, that would be super hot, but not the whole thing! anyway, could to see you back!

Friday Oct 14, 2011

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Hey guys Im super exhausted n my computer is gonna die in 4 minutes buuuut Im in Ocean Shores
Went n played in the Ocean this morning!!! It was AMAZING!!!
School work sucks just realized Im failing one of my classes, n literally I feel like its
because I totally disagree with everything being said.... frown
I miss you all n Ill write as soon as...
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paytenpanic:
you are beautiful you have no idea just how gorgeous you are if looks could kill id be dead xoxox
paytenpanic:
thank you so much your such a sweet heart <3

Monday Oct 10, 2011

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FINALLY
FINALLY
FINALLY

Got to have some fun with the man last night...
He actually let me give him a strip tease!!!
(I got this new bra n undies from VS n they are to die for!!! Turqoise blue n black lace!)
Then I gave him a bj in which I didn't feel like I completely failed...
Then i got some...blush .... n even though...
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alchemy333:
Agreed. He's a lucky dude.
desireonrepeat:
Congrats on your night, its always nice to get back to "how it used to be" biggrin

Sunday Oct 09, 2011

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chika:
i come here only to stalk you can you believe it? haha you are so sweet and on top of it so motherfuckingly damn beautiful...
thank you for always being so supportive, are you having a set on MR or soemthing because if you do, let me die now, please.
jaybugg:
oh WTF....

<3 I give you love and hugs my dear

Saturday Oct 08, 2011

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Things have gone from not so great to terrible.
At least inside of me.
Me n the bf are okay but, im pretty confused about what he wants.
He is frustrated with me because I dont know what he likes sexually, because
he is my second boyfriend ever, and the one before him was an asshole.
So yeah I dont have alot of sexual experience....
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jaybugg:
you are a pretty thing, and as for the sexuality, if I may you need to talk that over with him. certain people don't have that"instant" sexual bond, and need to have that frank discussion of limits, what the other wants likes, etc. I hope things get better darling
brightredscream:
Why isn't he communicating with you about what he likes instead of getting angry?

Tuesday Oct 04, 2011

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Today...

.it is raining, which makes me feel good. i like it when the sky matches my emotions.
.epic convo last night with my boyfriend, so much said.
.none of it good, but not bad either. just another realization of how fucked up, my last relationship left me.
.and how fucked up my parents made me. my soul hurts today.
.so much i dont know,...
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djoseph:
i don't like skinny girls. curves are wear it's at! i definitely can't wait!
wolfox:
fucked up relationships and fucked up lives help build us into what we've become ... or will.
I may not have been considered as crazy as I am/was if I hadn't had the life I've led ... but I also wouldn't have/had as amazing friends as I've had for the same reasons -( nor would I be being so absolutely certain that I don't be or become like my father was when it comes to my girls ... I can never be that )-

and if every girl was the same shape and size, there'd be no reason to look and definately no reason to enjoy!

Monday Oct 03, 2011

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Things have gotten a little better with the boy... He wants more bf/gf time yet I don't think he really understands what that means...such as if we acted like boyfriend/ girlfriend he would have to start doing his own laundry, doing the dishes, picking up his stuff, finding his own socks, folding his own clothes, etc. He really is kinda spoiled... but so am I....
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reekie:
I agree with BrightRedScream_
You are just so gorgeous!

I am not crushing on you or anything:.blush:whatever

I am also sry to hear that boy drama is stressing you out hun..Dont let it get you down. Keep that pretty face of yours up.
Here is my two cents ( which you prolly know, but this is just support, that you have the right state of mind..)

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Just make sure you keep communicating with him everything you told us ,and dont hold anything back. He wants the responsiblity of being your lover, he needs to act like it. As you know relationships are work, not just a way to take a advantage of someone, so you get taking care of. On that note, I think he has/is taking advantage of you, because you do all the wifey things. If he wants to be Bf/Gf , like you said, you need to be able to rely on him to do his own chores...your not his wife and he needs to allow you not to act like one. I dont know the whole story but it sounds like you are trying and he really isnt. He wants things handed to him. Tell him that. Tell him exactly how you feel. Also I have learned from expierence, never accuse him of doing things to hurt you, rather say "I FEEL like you are hurting me when..."


Anyway, best of luck sweetheart.kiss
wolfox:
uhm.... wow

ok, I had a response here, but was distracted by the fresh-from-the-shower pics...
damn distraction! damn good distraction, but even so...!

now - to find my mind again...

Thursday Sep 29, 2011

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Poetry...
Can you find the message hidden in certain lines?

Celestial orbs swirling round her head
What once formed a crown
Now lays below her like the dead
Sea of blood and rotting veins
Liquid once coursed through
Yet now burgundy sprays
Forth for royalty of an urban form
She darts towards life
Pleading, soul do not mourn
The night falls quicker than her feet...
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jaxy:
<3
ben_stylee:
Look at the beauty you've created from pain! Love it.

I got you this monkey to make you happy.

ooo aaa

It gets better.

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